The topic of describing a difficult conversation is a common one in IELTS Speaking tests. It has appeared frequently in past exams and is likely to continue being a popular subject for examiners to explore. This topic allows candidates to demonstrate their ability to discuss interpersonal communication, problem-solving, and emotional intelligence – all valuable skills in English language proficiency.
Part 1: Introduction and Interview
In this section, the examiner may ask you general questions about conversations and communication. Here’s an example question with a suggested answer:
Question: How often do you have difficult conversations?
Sample Answer (Band 7-8):
“Well, I’d say I encounter challenging conversations fairly regularly, perhaps once or twice a month. These can range from discussing sensitive topics with friends to addressing work-related issues with colleagues. I believe that facing these conversations head-on is crucial for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships, so I try not to shy away from them when necessary.”
Part 2: Long Turn
Cue Card
Describe a time when you had to deal with a difficult conversation.
You should say:
- Who you had the conversation with
- What the conversation was about
- Why it was difficult
- How you handled the situation
Sample Answer (Band 6-7)
“I’d like to talk about a difficult conversation I had with my roommate last year. We’d been living together for about six months, and there were some issues that had been building up.
The conversation was mainly about our different living habits and expectations. My roommate often had friends over late at night, which disturbed my sleep, and he wasn’t very consistent with cleaning up after himself in the common areas.
It was difficult because I’m generally a non-confrontational person, and I was worried about damaging our friendship. I also knew he might get defensive, which could make the situation worse.
To handle it, I decided to approach him when we were both relaxed on a weekend afternoon. I started by expressing my appreciation for our friendship and then gently brought up the issues. I used ‘I’ statements to express how I felt, rather than accusing him. For example, I said, ‘I find it hard to sleep when there’s noise late at night’ instead of ‘You’re too loud.’
We ended up having a productive discussion and agreed on some basic house rules. While it was uncomfortable at first, I’m glad I had the conversation because it improved our living situation and even strengthened our friendship.”
Sample Answer (Band 8-9)
“I’d like to recount a particularly challenging conversation I had with my direct supervisor at work about a year ago. The crux of the matter was a disagreement over the direction of a major project I was leading.
The conversation was centered around my proposal for a significant change in our project strategy. I had conducted extensive research and believed that pivoting our approach would yield better results, but my supervisor was hesitant to deviate from the original plan.
The difficulty stemmed from several factors. Firstly, there was a notable power dynamic at play, given our hierarchical relationship. Additionally, I knew my supervisor had invested considerable time and resources into the current strategy, so suggesting a change could be perceived as a criticism of his judgment. Moreover, the stakes were high, as the success or failure of this project could have substantial implications for the company and our careers.
To navigate this delicate situation, I employed a multi-faceted approach. I meticulously prepared my argument, backing it up with data and case studies. Before the meeting, I practiced my delivery to ensure I could present my ideas confidently yet respectfully. During the conversation, I made a conscious effort to actively listen to my supervisor’s concerns and acknowledge the merits of the current strategy before explaining why I believed a change was necessary.
I also framed the discussion in terms of our shared goals for the project and the company’s success, rather than as a clash of personal opinions. This helped create a collaborative atmosphere rather than an adversarial one. Furthermore, I remained open to compromise, suggesting we could implement my proposed changes in phases to mitigate risks.
The conversation was undoubtedly tense at times, but by maintaining a calm and professional demeanor, I was able to articulate my points effectively. Ultimately, we reached a mutually agreeable solution that incorporated elements of both approaches.
This experience not only led to a more robust project strategy but also enhanced my professional relationship with my supervisor. It taught me the value of diplomatic assertiveness and the importance of thorough preparation when engaging in difficult conversations in the workplace.”
IELTS Speaking: Describing a difficult conversation
Follow-up Questions
- How did you feel after the conversation?
Sample Answer (Band 6-7):
“After the conversation, I felt a mix of relief and pride. It was a weight off my shoulders to have addressed the issues, and I was happy that we found a solution. I also felt more confident in my ability to handle difficult situations.”
Sample Answer (Band 8-9):
“In the aftermath of the conversation, I experienced a complex array of emotions. There was an immediate sense of relief, coupled with a surge of adrenaline from the intensity of the exchange. As I reflected on the interaction, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction at having navigated such a delicate situation successfully. Moreover, I was gratified by the mutual respect that underpinned our discussion, despite its challenging nature. This experience significantly bolstered my self-assurance in handling high-stakes professional conversations and reinforced my belief in the power of open, honest communication.”
- What did you learn from this experience?
Sample Answer (Band 6-7):
“I learned that it’s important to address problems early on instead of letting them build up. I also realized that being honest and respectful can lead to positive outcomes, even in difficult situations.”
Sample Answer (Band 8-9):
“This experience was incredibly enlightening and served as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Firstly, it underscored the importance of thorough preparation when engaging in high-stakes conversations. I learned that having a well-researched, data-driven argument can significantly strengthen one’s position. Secondly, it highlighted the value of emotional intelligence in professional settings. The ability to read the room, empathize with the other party’s perspective, and modulate one’s communication style accordingly is invaluable. Additionally, this interaction reinforced the notion that constructive conflict can be a powerful tool for innovation and problem-solving when handled appropriately. Perhaps most importantly, I gained a deeper appreciation for the nuances of effective leadership – the delicate balance between assertiveness and flexibility, and the art of influencing without authority.”
Part 3: Two-way Discussion
Question 1: Why do you think some people avoid difficult conversations?
Sample Answer (Band 6-7):
“I think many people avoid difficult conversations because they’re afraid of conflict or hurting someone’s feelings. They might also worry about damaging relationships or making a situation worse. Sometimes, people just don’t know how to start these conversations, so they put them off.”
Sample Answer (Band 8-9):
“There are myriad reasons why individuals might shy away from challenging dialogues. At the core, I believe it often stems from a deep-seated fear of confrontation, which may be rooted in past experiences or cultural conditioning. Many people prioritize short-term harmony over long-term resolution, leading them to avoid addressing issues head-on. Additionally, there’s often a fear of vulnerability – opening oneself up to criticism or rejection can be incredibly daunting. Some individuals may also lack confidence in their communication skills, fearing they won’t be able to articulate their thoughts effectively in a high-pressure situation. Moreover, in professional contexts, there might be concerns about potential repercussions on one’s career or workplace relationships. It’s also worth noting that in some cultures, direct confrontation is seen as disrespectful or inappropriate, which can further discourage people from engaging in difficult conversations.”
Question 2: How can technology help or hinder difficult conversations?
Sample Answer (Band 6-7):
“Technology can help difficult conversations by allowing people to communicate from a distance, which might make them feel more comfortable. Video calls can also help people see each other’s facial expressions, which is important. However, technology can also make things harder because it’s easy to misunderstand tone in text messages or emails.”
Sample Answer (Band 8-9):
“Technology plays a multifaceted role in the realm of difficult conversations, offering both advantages and potential pitfalls. On the positive side, it provides numerous platforms for communication, enabling individuals to choose the medium that best suits their comfort level and the nature of the conversation. For instance, asynchronous communication tools like email or messaging apps allow for more thoughtful, measured responses, which can be beneficial in emotionally charged situations. Video conferencing technologies can bridge geographical gaps while still allowing for non-verbal cues, crucial in sensitive discussions.
However, technology can also impede effective communication in several ways. The lack of physical presence can diminish empathy and make it easier for individuals to disengage emotionally. Digital communication often lacks nuance, leading to misinterpretations of tone and intent, particularly in written formats. There’s also the risk of performative behavior on social media platforms, where difficult conversations can become public spectacles rather than genuine attempts at resolution.
Moreover, the immediacy and permanence of digital communication can sometimes escalate conflicts. A hastily sent message cannot be unsaid, and the ability to instantly respond can lead to impulsive reactions rather than measured responses.
In essence, while technology provides valuable tools for facilitating difficult conversations, it requires a high degree of emotional intelligence and digital literacy to navigate effectively. The key lies in leveraging the benefits of technology while being mindful of its limitations and potential pitfalls in sensitive interpersonal communications.”
Technology's impact on difficult conversations
Key Vocabulary and Phrases for High Scores
To face head-on (phrasal verb) – /feɪs hed ɒn/ – to deal with a problem or difficult situation directly and openly
Example: “It’s better to face the issue head-on rather than avoiding it.”Non-confrontational (adjective) – /nɒn-kɒnfrʌnˈteɪʃənl/ – tending to avoid conflict or disagreement
Example: “As a non-confrontational person, I find it challenging to express disagreement.”To build up (phrasal verb) – /bɪld ʌp/ – to gradually increase or develop over time
Example: “Tension had been building up between us for weeks before we finally talked.”Power dynamic (noun phrase) – /ˈpaʊə daɪˈnæmɪk/ – the way in which power is distributed and used in a relationship or situation
Example: “The power dynamic between a boss and employee can make difficult conversations more challenging.”To actively listen (verb phrase) – /ˈæktɪvli ˈlɪsn/ – to fully concentrate on what is being said rather than just passively hearing
Example: “During the meeting, I made sure to actively listen to everyone’s concerns.”Diplomatic assertiveness (noun phrase) – /ˌdɪpləˈmætɪk əˈsɜːtɪvnəs/ – the ability to stand up for one’s views in a respectful and considerate manner
Example: “Her diplomatic assertiveness allowed her to make her point without offending anyone.”To navigate (verb) – /ˈnævɪɡeɪt/ – to find a way through a difficult or complicated situation
Example: “She skillfully navigated the tense conversation, addressing all concerns without escalating the conflict.”Emotional intelligence (noun phrase) – /ɪˈməʊʃənl ɪnˈtelɪdʒəns/ – the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically
Example: “High emotional intelligence is crucial when dealing with difficult conversations.”
Examiner’s Advice
To excel in the IELTS Speaking test, particularly when discussing difficult conversations:
Practice storytelling: Prepare several personal anecdotes about challenging conversations you’ve had. This will help you respond quickly and confidently during the test.
Expand your vocabulary: Learn and use a variety of words and phrases related to communication, conflict resolution, and emotions. This will help you express yourself more precisely and score higher on vocabulary.
Use varied sentence structures: Mix simple and complex sentences to demonstrate your command of English grammar. This is particularly important for achieving higher band scores.
Develop your ideas: Don’t just state facts; explain your thoughts and feelings, and provide reasons for your opinions. This shows depth of language use and critical thinking skills.
Work on pronunciation and fluency: Regular practice speaking English will help you sound more natural and confident during the test.
Stay on topic: While it’s good to elaborate, make sure your answers remain relevant to the question asked.
Be honest and authentic: Use real experiences when possible, as this will help you speak more naturally and convincingly.
Remember, the key to success in IELTS Speaking is not just about perfect English, but about communicating effectively and confidently. Regular practice and self-reflection will help you improve your performance and achieve your desired score.
Describe a person who gives you good advice in tough situations can be another useful topic to prepare for, as it relates closely to handling difficult conversations. Similarly, describe a time you were very busy might help you articulate stressful situations that often lead to challenging dialogues. For more practice on discussing interpersonal skills, you might want to describe a person who taught you how to handle stress, which could provide valuable insights for managing difficult conversations as well.