Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on E-commerce’s Impact on Traditional Banking

The Impact Of E-commerce On Traditional Banking is a topic that has gained significant traction in recent IELTS Writing Task 2 exams. Based on trends observed in past tests and the growing relevance of digital finance, this subject is likely to appear more frequently in future exams. Let’s explore a sample question that closely resembles those seen in actual IELTS tests:

Some people believe that the rise of e-commerce and online banking will eventually lead to the disappearance of traditional banks and financial institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Analyzing the Question

This question requires candidates to consider the long-term effects of e-commerce and online banking on traditional financial institutions. Key points to address include:

1. The current state of e-commerce and online banking
2. The role and importance of traditional banks
3. Potential changes in the banking sector due to technological advancements
4. The likelihood of traditional banks becoming obsolete

It’s crucial to present a balanced argument, considering both sides of the debate before stating your opinion.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

The digital revolution has undeniably transformed the financial landscape, with e-commerce and online banking becoming increasingly prevalent. While some argue that this shift will render traditional banks obsolete, I believe that physical financial institutions will adapt and continue to play a crucial role in the future, albeit in a modified form.

Undoubtedly, the rise of e-commerce and online banking has significantly impacted traditional banking. Digital platforms offer unprecedented convenience, allowing customers to conduct transactions, apply for loans, and manage investments from the comfort of their homes. This efficiency has led to a reduction in foot traffic at physical bank branches, prompting concerns about their long-term viability. Moreover, the emergence of fintech companies and cryptocurrencies has further challenged the dominance of conventional banks, offering alternative financial services that are often more agile and user-friendly.

However, it would be premature to predict the demise of traditional banks. These institutions possess several advantages that are difficult to replicate entirely in the digital realm. Firstly, they offer a level of personal interaction and relationship-building that many customers still value, particularly for complex financial decisions or in times of crisis. Secondly, traditional banks have established trust and credibility over decades, which is crucial in handling people’s money and sensitive financial information. Lastly, they play a vital role in the broader economic system, facilitating large-scale lending, maintaining financial stability, and implementing monetary policies.

Rather than disappearing, traditional banks are more likely to evolve and integrate digital technologies into their operations. Many are already developing robust online platforms and mobile apps to compete with fintech startups. Furthermore, they are leveraging their physical presence to offer specialized services that require face-to-face interactions, such as wealth management for high-net-worth individuals or small business advisory services. This hybrid model, combining digital convenience with personalized expertise, may well be the future of banking.

In conclusion, while e-commerce and online banking have undoubtedly disrupted the financial sector, I do not agree that they will lead to the complete disappearance of traditional banks. Instead, we are likely to see a transformation of these institutions, where they adapt to the digital age while retaining their core strengths. The future of banking will likely be a blend of digital innovation and traditional financial expertise, providing customers with the best of both worlds.

(Word count: 373)

Impact of e-commerce on traditional banking

Explanation of Band 8-9 Score

This essay demonstrates several qualities that contribute to its high band score:

1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position and developing it throughout.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Paragraphs are well-linked, and cohesive devices are used effectively.
3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately, including topic-specific terms like “fintech,” “cryptocurrencies,” and “monetary policies.”
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay showcases a variety of complex sentence structures with high accuracy.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

In recent years, e-commerce and online banking have become very popular, leading some people to think that traditional banks might disappear in the future. While I agree that digital banking is changing the financial world, I don’t think traditional banks will completely go away.

It’s true that online banking has many advantages. People can now do most of their banking tasks on their phones or computers, which is very convenient. They don’t need to go to a bank branch for simple things like transferring money or checking their balance. E-commerce has also made it easier to shop and pay for things online, reducing the need for cash and physical bank visits. These changes have definitely affected traditional banks, with some closing branches because fewer people are using them.

However, I believe traditional banks still have important roles to play. First, many people, especially older generations, are not comfortable with technology and prefer face-to-face banking. They trust the physical presence of a bank and like talking to real people about their money. Second, for big financial decisions like getting a mortgage or business loan, people often want personal advice which is better given in person. Traditional banks are also important for the economy, as they help control the money supply and support businesses.

I think what we’ll see in the future is a mix of online and traditional banking. Banks will probably have fewer branches but will still keep some open for important services. They will also improve their online services to compete with new digital banks. This way, they can offer both the convenience of online banking and the personal touch of traditional banking.

In conclusion, while e-commerce and online banking are changing how we manage money, I don’t agree that they will completely replace traditional banks. Instead, banks will likely adapt to include both digital and traditional services to meet different customer needs.

(Word count: 309)

Explanation of Band 6-7 Score

This essay demonstrates characteristics of a Band 6-7 performance:

1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses the main parts of the task and presents a clear position, though the ideas could be more fully developed.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally well-organized, with some use of cohesive devices, though not always with complete flexibility.
3. Lexical Resource: There is a sufficient range of vocabulary, with some attempts at less common words, though not always with full accuracy or sophistication.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, with generally good control, though there are some errors.

The impact of online banking on the traditional financial system has been significant, as highlighted in both essays. However, the higher band essay demonstrates a more nuanced understanding and sophisticated expression of these concepts.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

1. E-commerce (noun) /ˈiːkɒmɜːs/ – commercial transactions conducted electronically on the internet
2. Traditional banking (noun phrase) /trəˈdɪʃənl ˈbæŋkɪŋ/ – conventional banking services provided through physical branches
3. Fintech (noun) /ˈfɪntek/ – financial technology, referring to new tech that seeks to improve and automate financial services
4. Cryptocurrency (noun) /ˈkrɪptəʊˌkʌrənsi/ – a digital or virtual currency that uses cryptography for security
5. Digital platform (noun phrase) /ˈdɪdʒɪtl ˈplætfɔːm/ – a technology framework for delivering a service or content
6. Financial institution (noun phrase) /faɪˈnænʃl ˌɪnstɪˈtjuːʃn/ – an organization that deals with financial and monetary transactions
7. Monetary policy (noun phrase) /ˈmʌnɪtəri ˈpɒləsi/ – the actions of a central bank to regulate the money supply and interest rates
8. Hybrid model (noun phrase) /ˈhaɪbrɪd ˈmɒdl/ – a business model that combines traditional and modern approaches

Digital banking vs traditional banking

Conclusion

The impact of e-commerce on traditional banking is a complex and evolving topic that is likely to remain relevant in IELTS Writing Task 2. To prepare for potential questions on this subject, consider practicing with variations such as:

• Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online banking compared to traditional banking.
• Some people believe that physical currency will become obsolete due to digital payment systems. Do you agree or disagree?
• How has technology changed the way people manage their finances? Is this a positive or negative development?

How the digital economy is transforming traditional industries is another related topic worth exploring to broaden your understanding of this subject.

Remember, the key to success in IELTS Writing Task 2 is to practice regularly and develop your ideas on various topics. Try writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments section below for feedback and discussion. This active practice will help you improve your writing skills and prepare you for success in the IELTS exam.