Mastering IELTS Speaking: How to Describe a Friend Who is Very Different from You

The IELTS Speaking test often includes questions about relationships and personal experiences. One common topic that candidates may encounter is describing a friend who is very different from themselves. This theme allows examiners to assess your ability to express contrasts, use comparative language, and showcase your vocabulary range. Let’s explore how to tackle this topic effectively and aim for a high band score.

describe a book you found inspiring

Part 1: Introduction and Interview

In this section, the examiner may ask general questions about friendships and differences. Here’s a sample question with a suggested answer:

Question: Do you think it’s important to have friends who are different from you?

Sample answer (Band 8-9):
“Absolutely! I believe having friends who are different from us is crucial for personal growth. These friendships expose us to diverse perspectives and challenge our preconceptions. They can broaden our horizons and help us develop empathy and understanding for people from various backgrounds. Moreover, such relationships often complement our own strengths and weaknesses, creating a more well-rounded support system.”

Part 2: Long Turn

Cue Card

Describe A Friend Who Is Very Different From You
You should say:

• Who this friend is
• How you met
• What makes them different from you
• And explain how you feel about these differences

Two friends with contrasting personalities

Sample Answer (Band 6-7)

“I’d like to talk about my friend Sarah, who I met during my first year of university. We were assigned as roommates in the dormitory, which is how our friendship began.

Sarah is quite different from me in many ways. Firstly, she’s very outgoing and social, always surrounded by people, while I’m more introverted and prefer smaller gatherings. She loves outdoor activities and sports, but I’m more of an indoor person who enjoys reading and watching movies.

Another significant difference is our approach to life. Sarah is spontaneous and lives in the moment, often making last-minute plans. In contrast, I’m a planner who likes to have everything organized in advance.

Despite these differences, I feel our friendship is enriching. Sarah encourages me to step out of my comfort zone and try new experiences. At the same time, I help her slow down and appreciate quieter moments. Our contrasting personalities complement each other well, and I believe we’ve both grown as individuals because of our friendship.”

Sample Answer (Band 8-9)

“I’d like to tell you about my friend Alex, whom I serendipitously met at a local community event three years ago. Our friendship blossomed despite, or perhaps because of, our stark differences.

Alex is the epitome of an extrovert – vivacious, always the life of the party, and thriving on social interactions. In stark contrast, I’m more of an introvert, finding solace in quieter, more intimate settings. While Alex is spontaneous and embraces last-minute adventures, I tend to be more methodical, preferring carefully laid out plans.

Our professional lives also diverge significantly. Alex is a free-spirited artist, driven by creativity and emotion, whereas I work in finance, dealing with numbers and logic daily. This difference extends to our decision-making processes – Alex often relies on intuition, while I lean towards analytical reasoning.

Interestingly, our disparate qualities have fostered a symbiotic relationship. Alex’s zest for life encourages me to step outside my comfort zone and embrace new experiences. Conversely, my grounded nature helps Alex navigate practical aspects of life more effectively.

I find our differences profoundly enriching. They provide a constant source of learning and growth, challenging my perspectives and broadening my horizons. Our friendship has taught me the value of diversity in relationships and how contrasting personalities can complement each other beautifully, creating a harmonious balance.”

Follow-up Questions

1. How has your friendship with Alex changed your perspective on life?

Sample answer (Band 8-9):
“My friendship with Alex has fundamentally altered my worldview. It’s taught me to appreciate spontaneity and the beauty of living in the moment, something I previously undervalued. Alex’s artistic approach to life has also opened my eyes to the importance of creativity, even in my analytical field. Moreover, this friendship has reinforced the notion that diversity in relationships is not just beneficial, but essential for personal growth and a more holistic understanding of the world around us.”

2. Do you think having different personalities can cause conflicts in friendships?

Sample answer (Band 6-7):
“Yes, I believe different personalities can sometimes lead to conflicts in friendships. Misunderstandings might occur due to different communication styles or priorities. However, these conflicts can also be opportunities for growth if handled well. With open communication and mutual respect, friends can learn from their differences and strengthen their bond.”

Part 3: Two-way Discussion

Examiner: Let’s talk more about friendships between people with different personalities. Do you think such friendships are becoming more or less common in today’s society?

Sample answer (Band 8-9):
“I believe friendships between individuals with diverse personalities are becoming increasingly prevalent in our globalized society. The rise of social media and international education has exponentially increased our exposure to people from various backgrounds and with different personality types. This exposure fosters an environment conducive to forming connections across personality divides.

Moreover, there’s a growing recognition of the value of diversity in all aspects of life, including friendships. People are becoming more cognizant of the benefits of surrounding themselves with individuals who think and act differently, as it promotes personal growth and broadens perspectives.

However, it’s worth noting that while these friendships may be more common, they often require more effort to maintain. The inherent differences can lead to misunderstandings or conflicts if not managed properly. Nonetheless, I believe the rewards of such diverse friendships far outweigh the challenges, contributing to a more inclusive and empathetic society.”

describe a recent holiday that you enjoyed

Examiner: What qualities do you think are essential for maintaining a friendship with someone very different from yourself?

Sample answer (Band 6-7):
“I think there are several important qualities needed for maintaining a friendship with someone very different from you. Firstly, open-mindedness is crucial. You need to be willing to accept and understand different viewpoints and ways of doing things.

Patience is also very important. Sometimes, it might take more time to understand each other or find common ground. Good communication skills are essential too, as you might need to explain your thoughts and feelings more clearly to someone with a different perspective.

Lastly, I believe a sense of humor can be really helpful. Being able to laugh at your differences and not take things too seriously can make the friendship more enjoyable and help overcome potential conflicts.”

Sample answer (Band 8-9):
“Maintaining a friendship with someone fundamentally different from oneself requires a unique set of interpersonal skills and personal qualities. Foremost among these is an unwavering sense of empathy – the ability to truly understand and share the feelings of another, even when their experiences and reactions differ greatly from our own.

Equally crucial is the quality of open-mindedness. This entails not just tolerating different viewpoints, but actively embracing them as opportunities for learning and personal growth. It requires a willingness to challenge one’s own preconceptions and biases, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding.

Adaptability is another key trait. The ability to flexibly adjust one’s communication style and expectations to align with a friend’s differing personality can significantly mitigate potential conflicts and enhance mutual understanding.

Furthermore, patience and perseverance are indispensable. Building and maintaining such a friendship often requires more time and effort, as both parties navigate their differences and find common ground.

Lastly, I believe a strong sense of self-awareness is vital. Understanding one’s own personality, strengths, and weaknesses allows for more effective communication and helps in appreciating the complementary qualities that a different friend brings to the relationship.

In essence, these friendships, while challenging, can be incredibly rewarding, fostering personal growth and a deeper appreciation for the rich tapestry of human diversity.”

Key Vocabulary and Phrases for High Scores

1. Serendipitously (adverb) /ˌserənˈdɪpətəsli/: occurring or discovered by chance in a happy or beneficial way
   Example: We serendipitously met at a coffee shop and became instant friends.

2. Symbiotic (adjective) /ˌsɪmbaɪˈɒtɪk/: involving interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association
   Example: Our friendship has a symbiotic nature, where we both benefit from each other’s strengths.

3. Complement (verb) /ˈkɒmplɪment/: add to (something) in a way that enhances or improves it
   Example: Our different skills complement each other perfectly in group projects.

4. Epitome (noun) /ɪˈpɪtəmi/: a person or thing that is a perfect example of a particular quality or type
   Example: She is the epitome of kindness, always ready to help others.

5. Diverge (verb) /daɪˈvɜːdʒ/: (of paths, routes, or lines) separate and go in different directions
   Example: Although our career paths diverged after university, we maintained our close friendship.

describe a hobby you had in childhood

Examiner’s Advice

To achieve a high score in the IELTS Speaking test when describing a friend who is very different from you:

1. Use a wide range of vocabulary, including less common words and idiomatic expressions.
2. Demonstrate your ability to use complex grammatical structures accurately.
3. Provide specific examples to illustrate your points, making your description more vivid and engaging.
4. Show your capacity for abstract thinking by discussing the broader implications of having diverse friendships.
5. Maintain fluency throughout your responses, avoiding long pauses or hesitations.
6. Practice expressing contrasts and comparisons using varied language structures.
7. Reflect on the personal growth and learning that comes from such friendships to demonstrate depth of thought.

Remember, the key to success is not just in memorizing answers, but in developing the ability to articulate your thoughts clearly and coherently on a variety of topics. Regular practice with a range of subjects will help you build the confidence and skills needed to excel in the IELTS Speaking test.