Resolving conflicts with friends is a common life experience that often comes up in IELTS Speaking tests. This topic allows examiners to assess your ability to articulate personal experiences, emotions, and problem-solving skills in English. Let’s explore how to effectively answer questions about conflict resolution with friends in your IELTS Speaking exam.

Part 1: Introduction and Interview

In this section, the examiner may ask general questions about friendships and conflicts. Here are some possible questions and sample answers:

Sample Question: Do you often have disagreements with your friends?

Sample Answer: Not very often, to be honest. I value harmony in my relationships, so I try to maintain open communication with my friends. However, when disagreements do arise, I see them as opportunities to strengthen our bond by working through issues together.

Part 2: Long Turn (Cue Card)

Here’s a sample cue card related to the topic:

Describe A Time When You Had To Resolve A Conflict With A Friend
You should say:

• Who the friend was
• What the conflict was about
• How you resolved it
• And explain how you felt about the situation

Sample Answer:

I’d like to talk about a time when I had to resolve a conflict with my close friend, Sarah. We’ve known each other since high school, and we’ve always been thick as thieves. However, last year, we had a significant falling out over a misunderstanding.

The conflict arose when Sarah inadvertently forgot to invite me to her birthday party. At first, I was deeply hurt and felt excluded, assuming she had intentionally left me out. This led to me giving her the cold shoulder for a few weeks, which only exacerbated the situation.

After some time, I realized that maintaining radio silence wasn’t solving anything. So, I decided to take the bull by the horns and address the issue directly. I invited Sarah for coffee, and we had a heart-to-heart conversation. I expressed my feelings honestly, explaining how hurt I felt by not being invited. To my surprise, Sarah was genuinely shocked. She explained that she thought she had sent me an invitation through social media, but due to a technical glitch, it never reached me.

We both realized that the entire situation was a misunderstanding blown out of proportion. We apologized to each other – me for jumping to conclusions and her for not double-checking that I had received the invitation. We agreed to communicate more openly in the future and not let small issues fester.

This experience taught me the importance of clear communication and giving others the benefit of the doubt. I felt relieved and grateful that we were able to clear the air and even strengthen our friendship through this experience. It reminded me that true friendships can weather storms and come out stronger on the other side.

Two friends resolving conflict

Follow-up Questions:

1. How did this experience change your approach to dealing with conflicts?
2. Do you think it’s important to resolve conflicts quickly? Why or why not?

Part 3: Two-way Discussion

In this section, the examiner will ask more abstract questions related to the topic. Here are some potential questions and sample answers:

Examiner: Do you think conflicts are necessary for relationships to grow?

Sample Answer: That’s an interesting question. I believe that while conflicts aren’t necessarily desirable, they can indeed play a crucial role in strengthening relationships. When handled constructively, conflicts can lead to better understanding and improved communication between people.

Firstly, conflicts often bring underlying issues to the surface. In many cases, these are issues that might have been simmering beneath the surface for a while, and the conflict provides an opportunity to address them openly. This can lead to greater transparency and honesty in the relationship.

Secondly, successfully navigating through a conflict can build trust and resilience in a relationship. When two people can work through their differences and find a mutually satisfactory resolution, it often leaves them feeling more confident in their ability to handle future challenges together.

However, it’s important to note that the manner in which conflicts are handled is crucial. Conflicts that are approached with respect, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand the other person’s perspective are more likely to lead to growth. On the other hand, conflicts that devolve into personal attacks or that remain unresolved can be detrimental to relationships.

In conclusion, while I wouldn’t say conflicts are always necessary, they can certainly provide valuable opportunities for growth and deepening of relationships when approached constructively.

Examiner: How do you think technology has affected the way people resolve conflicts?

Sample Answer: Technology has undoubtedly had a profound impact on conflict resolution, bringing both advantages and challenges to the table.

On the positive side, technology has made it easier for people to communicate across distances, which can be crucial when conflicts arise between individuals who are not in the same physical location. Video calls, for instance, allow for face-to-face conversations that can help convey emotions and non-verbal cues more effectively than text-based communication.

Moreover, there are now various online platforms and apps specifically designed for conflict resolution. These tools can provide a structured environment for discussing issues and can even offer guidance on effective communication strategies.

However, technology also presents some challenges. The impersonal nature of some forms of digital communication, such as text messages or emails, can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or misinterpretations of tone. It’s easier to misread someone’s intentions when you can’t see their facial expressions or hear their voice.

Additionally, the immediacy of digital communication can sometimes lead people to respond too quickly in the heat of the moment, potentially escalating conflicts rather than resolving them. The ability to block or ignore someone online can also make it easier for people to avoid addressing conflicts directly.

In my opinion, while technology provides valuable tools for conflict resolution, it’s important to use these tools judiciously. For more complex or sensitive conflicts, it’s often best to combine technological tools with in-person communication to ensure that all parties can fully express themselves and work towards a resolution.

Key Vocabulary and Phrases for High Scores

1. To value harmony (phrase) /tə ˈvæljuː ˈhɑːrməni/: To appreciate and seek peace in relationships.
   Example: I value harmony in my workplace, so I always try to resolve conflicts amicably.

2. To maintain open communication (phrase) /tə meɪnˈteɪn ˈəʊpən kəˌmjuːnɪˈkeɪʃn/: To keep channels of dialogue clear and accessible.
   Example: We maintain open communication in our team to prevent misunderstandings.

3. To strengthen our bond (phrase) /tə ˈstreŋθən ˈaʊə bɒnd/: To make a relationship stronger.
   Example: Overcoming challenges together has helped to strengthen our bond as friends.

4. Thick as thieves (idiom) /θɪk æz θiːvz/: Very close or friendly.
   Example: Despite their differences, the two sisters have always been thick as thieves.

5. To have a falling out (phrasal verb) /tə hæv ə ˈfɔːlɪŋ aʊt/: To have a disagreement that damages a relationship.
   Example: They had a falling out over a misunderstanding, but eventually reconciled.

6. To take the bull by the horns (idiom) /tə teɪk ðə bʊl baɪ ðə hɔːnz/: To deal with a difficult situation directly and confidently.
   Example: Instead of avoiding the issue, I decided to take the bull by the horns and confront my friend about the problem.

7. To have a heart-to-heart conversation (phrase) /tə hæv ə hɑːt tə hɑːt ˌkɒnvəˈseɪʃn/: To have an honest, sincere discussion.
   Example: We sat down and had a heart-to-heart conversation about our feelings.

8. To clear the air (idiom) /tə klɪə ði eə/: To resolve a disagreement or misunderstanding.
   Example: After our discussion, we were able to clear the air and move forward.

Examiner’s Advice

To achieve a high score in the IELTS Speaking test, particularly when discussing conflict resolution:

1. Use a variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions related to relationships and conflicts.
2. Provide specific examples to illustrate your points, as this demonstrates your ability to apply English in real-life contexts.
3. Show your ability to discuss both personal experiences (in Part 2) and more abstract ideas (in Part 3).
4. Maintain fluency by avoiding long pauses, but don’t be afraid to use fillers naturally to give yourself time to think.
5. Demonstrate your range of grammar by using a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.
6. Practice discussing various aspects of conflicts and relationships to build your confidence and fluency on this topic.

Remember, the key to success in IELTS Speaking is not just about what you say, but how you say it. Confidence, fluency, and the ability to express complex ideas clearly are all crucial factors in achieving a high score.

For more tips on handling difficult conversations in English, you might find our article on describing a time when you had to manage a difficult conversation helpful. It provides additional strategies and language you can use when discussing challenging interpersonal situations.