IELTS Writing Task 2: Gender Equality in Leadership – Sample Essays for Different Band Scores

Gender Equality In Leadership is a topic that has gained significant attention in recent years, both in society and in IELTS examinations. As an IELTS Writing Task 2 expert, I have observed a growing trend in questions related to this subject. Based on my analysis of past IELTS exams and current global trends, there’s a high probability that test-takers will encounter this theme in future tests.

Let’s examine a relevant question that has appeared in recent IELTS exams:

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Analyzing the Question

This question asks us to discuss two contrasting views on criminal punishment and provide our own opinion. The key aspects to address are:

  1. Fixed punishments for each type of crime
  2. Considering circumstances and motivations when deciding punishments
  3. Our personal stance on the issue

Now, let’s look at sample essays for different band scores.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

In the realm of criminal justice, there is ongoing debate about whether punishments should be standardized or tailored to individual cases. While some advocate for fixed penalties, others argue for a more nuanced approach that considers the unique circumstances of each crime. In my opinion, a balanced system that incorporates elements of both perspectives would be most effective.

Proponents of fixed punishments argue that this approach ensures consistency and fairness in the justice system. By establishing predetermined penalties for specific crimes, the law becomes more transparent and easier to enforce. This standardization can potentially deter criminal behavior, as potential offenders are clearly aware of the consequences of their actions. Moreover, it eliminates the possibility of bias or inconsistency in sentencing, which can sometimes occur when judges have too much discretion.

On the other hand, those who support case-by-case consideration of circumstances and motivations contend that justice cannot be served through a one-size-fits-all approach. They argue that each crime occurs within a unique context, and factors such as the offender’s background, mental state, and intentions should be taken into account. This perspective allows for more rehabilitative and restorative justice approaches, potentially reducing recidivism rates. It also acknowledges the complexity of human behavior and the diverse factors that can lead to criminal acts.

In my view, an ideal criminal justice system would strike a balance between these two approaches. A framework of standard minimum and maximum sentences for different categories of crimes could provide a foundation of consistency and deterrence. Within this framework, judges could then consider mitigating or aggravating factors to adjust the sentence appropriately. This hybrid model would maintain the benefits of predictability and fairness while still allowing for the nuanced application of justice based on individual circumstances.

In conclusion, while fixed punishments offer consistency and clarity, considering individual circumstances in sentencing allows for a more nuanced and potentially rehabilitative approach to justice. A system that combines elements of both perspectives would likely be most effective in addressing the complexities of criminal behavior while maintaining public confidence in the justice system.

(Word count: 329)

Explanation of Band 8-9 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a high band score (8-9) for several reasons:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and clearly presenting a personal opinion.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The ideas are logically organized with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, and the essay uses a range of cohesive devices effectively.

  3. Lexical Resource: The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Examples include “realm of criminal justice,” “nuanced approach,” and “rehabilitative and restorative justice approaches.”

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: It uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy. Complex sentences are used effectively, and there are no noticeable errors.

  5. Development of Ideas: Each main point is well-developed with clear explanations and supporting ideas.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

People have different opinions about how criminals should be punished. Some think there should be set punishments for each crime, while others believe we should look at each case individually. I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

Those who support fixed punishments say it makes the law clearer and fairer. If everyone knows exactly what punishment they will get for a crime, it might stop some people from breaking the law. It also means that two people who commit the same crime will get the same punishment, which seems fair. This system is simpler and might be easier for courts to use.

On the other hand, people who think each case should be judged separately say that every crime is different. They believe we should look at why someone committed a crime and what their situation was. For example, someone who steals food because they are hungry might deserve a different punishment than someone who steals for fun. This approach could help people learn from their mistakes and become better citizens.

In my opinion, the best solution is to use a mix of both ideas. We could have some basic rules about punishments for different crimes, but also let judges change the punishment a bit depending on the situation. This way, the law would be clear, but also fair to each person.

To conclude, while fixed punishments have some advantages, I think it’s important to consider individual circumstances too. A system that combines both approaches would probably work best for society.

(Word count: 263)

Explanation of Band 6-7 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a Band 6-7 score for the following reasons:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and presenting a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be more fully developed.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally well-organized with clear overall progression. Basic cohesive devices are used, but they could be more sophisticated.

  3. Lexical Resource: There is a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated words. However, the language is less precise and varied compared to the Band 8-9 essay.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, with generally good control. There are no major errors that impede communication.

  5. Development of Ideas: Main ideas are relevant, but some could be more fully extended. The arguments are clear but less nuanced than in the higher band essay.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Criminal justice (noun) /ˈkrɪmɪnl ˈdʒʌstɪs/: The system of law enforcement, involving the detection, apprehension, trial, and punishment of suspected offenders.

  2. Deterrent (noun) /dɪˈterənt/: Something that discourages or is intended to discourage someone from doing something.

  3. Recidivism (noun) /rɪˈsɪdɪvɪzəm/: The tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend.

  4. Mitigating factors (noun phrase) /ˈmɪtɪɡeɪtɪŋ ˈfæktərz/: Circumstances that may reduce the severity or culpability of a criminal act.

  5. Rehabilitative (adjective) /ˌriːəˈbɪlɪteɪtɪv/: Intended to restore someone to health or normal life through training and therapy.

  6. Nuanced (adjective) /ˈnjuːɑːnst/: Characterized by subtle shades of meaning or expression.

  7. Aggravating factors (noun phrase) /ˈæɡrəveɪtɪŋ ˈfæktərz/: Circumstances that increase the severity or culpability of a criminal act.

  8. Transparency (noun) /trænsˈpærənsi/: The quality of being done in an open way without secrets.

  9. Discretion (noun) /dɪˈskreʃn/: The freedom to decide what should be done in a particular situation.

  10. Restorative justice (noun phrase) /rɪˈstɔːrətɪv ˈdʒʌstɪs/: A system of criminal justice that focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders through reconciliation with victims and the community at large.

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Conclusion

Understanding how to approach topics like gender equality in leadership for IELTS Writing Task 2 is crucial for success in the exam. By analyzing sample essays at different band scores, you can see how to structure your response, develop your ideas, and use appropriate vocabulary and grammar.

For future practice, consider exploring related topics such as:

  1. The role of education in promoting gender equality in leadership positions
  2. Government policies to encourage more women in high-level corporate roles
  3. The impact of cultural norms on gender representation in political leadership

Remember, the key to improving your IELTS Writing score is practice. Try writing your own essay on the topic we discussed today and share it in the comments section below. This active practice will help you refine your skills and prepare effectively for your IELTS exam.

If you’re looking for more resources on gender equality in leadership, you might find these articles helpful: How to Promote Gender Equality in Leadership Positions and Importance of Gender Equality in Leadership.