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IELTS Writing Task 2: Mastering Essays on Mobile Banking Transactions – Sample Band 8 and Band 6 Responses

Mobile banking security measures

Mobile banking security measures

Mobile banking and its impact on simplifying transactions is a topic that has gained significant traction in recent IELTS Writing Task 2 examinations. Based on our analysis of past test papers and current trends, we predict this theme will continue to be prevalent in future tests. Let’s explore a relevant question that has appeared in recent exams:

In recent years, mobile banking has become increasingly popular. Some people think that it simplifies financial transactions, while others believe it poses security risks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Analyzing the Question

This question requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss the advantages of mobile banking in simplifying transactions
  2. Address the potential security risks associated with mobile banking
  3. Provide a personal opinion on the topic

It’s crucial to cover all these aspects in your essay to achieve a high band score.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8)

Mobile banking has revolutionized the way people manage their finances, offering unprecedented convenience and accessibility. While some extol its ability to streamline transactions, others harbor concerns about potential security breaches. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own stance on the matter.

Proponents of mobile banking argue that it significantly simplifies financial transactions. With just a few taps on a smartphone, users can transfer money, pay bills, and check their account balances anytime, anywhere. This convenience is particularly beneficial for those living in remote areas or with limited access to traditional banking services. Moreover, mobile banking has made international transactions more efficient and cost-effective, enabling seamless cross-border money transfers without the need for physical presence at a bank.

However, critics raise valid concerns about the security risks associated with mobile banking. The potential for hacking and data breaches is a significant worry, as personal and financial information is transmitted over wireless networks. Phishing scams and malware targeting mobile devices pose additional threats to users’ financial security. Furthermore, if a mobile device is lost or stolen, unauthorized access to banking apps could lead to substantial financial losses.

In my opinion, while the security concerns surrounding mobile banking are legitimate, the benefits it offers in simplifying transactions far outweigh the risks. Financial institutions have implemented robust security measures, such as two-factor authentication and encryption, to protect users’ data. Additionally, users can take proactive steps to enhance their security, such as using strong passwords and avoiding public Wi-Fi networks for banking activities.

In conclusion, mobile banking has undeniably transformed the landscape of financial transactions, offering unparalleled convenience and accessibility. While security risks exist, they can be mitigated through a combination of technological safeguards and user vigilance. As mobile banking continues to evolve, it is likely to become even more secure and indispensable in our daily lives.

(Word count: 309)

Mobile banking security measures

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6)

Mobile banking has become very popular in recent years. Some people think it makes financial transactions easier, while others worry about security risks. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

On the one hand, mobile banking has made it much easier for people to do financial transactions. You can now check your bank balance, transfer money, and pay bills using your phone anytime and anywhere. This is very convenient, especially for busy people who don’t have time to go to the bank. Also, mobile banking helps people in rural areas who live far from banks.

On the other hand, there are some security risks with mobile banking. Hackers might try to steal people’s personal information and money through mobile banking apps. If someone loses their phone, another person might be able to access their bank account. These risks make some people scared to use mobile banking.

In my opinion, I think mobile banking is more helpful than risky. Banks have good security systems to protect their customers’ information and money. People can also be careful by using strong passwords and not using public Wi-Fi for banking. The convenience of mobile banking is very important in today’s fast-paced world.

To conclude, while mobile banking does have some security risks, its benefits in making financial transactions easier are more significant. As technology improves, I believe mobile banking will become even safer and more useful for everyone.

(Word count: 250)

Explanation of Band Scores

Band 8 Essay:

This essay demonstrates excellent control of language and addresses all parts of the task fully. It presents a clear position throughout the response and develops ideas with relevant examples and details. The essay structure is coherent and logical, with each paragraph focused on a specific aspect of the topic. The use of cohesive devices is skillful and unobtrusive. The range of vocabulary is wide and precise, with sophisticated language use such as “unprecedented convenience,” “harbor concerns,” and “robust security measures.” Grammar is used with full flexibility and accuracy, with only rare minor errors.

Band 6 Essay:

This essay addresses all parts of the task, although some parts are covered more fully than others. It presents a relevant position, but the conclusion is repetitive. The essay is organized coherently, with clear progression throughout. It uses a range of cohesive devices, but not always appropriately. The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common vocabulary (e.g., “rural areas”). There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but errors in grammar and punctuation persist. Despite these issues, the essay communicates the main ideas effectively.

Key Vocabulary

  1. Revolutionize (verb) /ˌrevəˈluːʃənaɪz/ – to change something completely and dramatically
  2. Unprecedented (adjective) /ʌnˈpresɪdentɪd/ – never having happened or existed in the past
  3. Proponent (noun) /prəˈpəʊnənt/ – a person who advocates for or supports something
  4. Streamline (verb) /ˈstriːmlaɪn/ – to make a system or organization more effective and efficient
  5. Breach (noun) /briːtʃ/ – an act of breaking or failing to observe a law, agreement, or code of conduct
  6. Phishing (noun) /ˈfɪʃɪŋ/ – the fraudulent practice of sending emails purporting to be from reputable companies to induce individuals to reveal personal information
  7. Malware (noun) /ˈmælweə(r)/ – software that is specifically designed to disrupt, damage, or gain unauthorized access to a computer system
  8. Robust (adjective) /rəʊˈbʌst/ – strong and healthy; vigorous
  9. Vigilance (noun) /ˈvɪdʒɪləns/ – the action or state of keeping careful watch for possible danger or difficulties
  10. Indispensable (adjective) /ˌɪndɪˈspensəbl/ – absolutely necessary

Conclusion

The topic of mobile banking and its impact on financial transactions is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS Writing Task 2 exams. To prepare effectively, practice writing essays on related themes such as:

  1. The impact of digital technology on traditional banking services
  2. The role of financial literacy in the age of mobile banking
  3. The future of cash in a world dominated by digital transactions
  4. The challenges of implementing mobile banking in developing countries

Remember to structure your essays clearly, use a wide range of vocabulary, and support your arguments with relevant examples. Feel free to practice by writing your own essay on this topic and sharing it in the comments section for feedback and discussion.

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