How to Answer “Tell Me About a Time You Had a Disagreement With a Friend or Family Member” in IELTS Speaking

Understanding the Question In the IELTS Speaking test, Part 2 often presents you with a cue card asking you to describe a personal experience. One common theme is disagreements. The examiner might ask you: “Describe …

Resolving Conflict: Communication and Compromise

Understanding the Question

In the IELTS Speaking test, Part 2 often presents you with a cue card asking you to describe a personal experience. One common theme is disagreements. The examiner might ask you:

“Describe a time you had a disagreement with a friend or family member.”

This question aims to assess your ability to:

  • Narrate: Can you tell a clear, coherent story with a beginning, middle, and end?
  • Use Past Tenses: Can you accurately employ past simple, past continuous, and past perfect tenses?
  • Express Feelings: Can you use vocabulary related to emotions and conflict?
  • Explain: Can you articulate the reasons for the disagreement and its resolution?

Crafting Your Response

Here’s a breakdown of how to structure your answer effectively:

1. The Setup (1-2 sentences)

  • Introduce the situation: Briefly set the scene and introduce the person you had the disagreement with.
    • Example: “I remember a time when I had a disagreement with my older brother, Mark. We’ve always been close, but we have very different personalities.”

2. The Disagreement (2-3 sentences)

  • Describe the issue: Clearly state what the disagreement was about. Avoid vague language; be specific.
    • Example: “We were planning a family vacation, and Mark wanted to go on an adventurous backpacking trip. I, on the other hand, was really hoping for a relaxing beach holiday.”
  • Explain the reasons: Briefly outline why you disagreed with the other person’s perspective.
    • Example: “I was worried about the physical demands of backpacking and thought a beach vacation would be more enjoyable for everyone.”

3. Handling the Disagreement (2-3 sentences)

  • Describe the discussion: How did you communicate your disagreement? Was it a calm discussion or more heated?
    • Example: “We ended up having a quite a heated debate about it. I think we were both stressed about the planning and took it out on each other.”
  • Focus on your actions: What did you do to try to resolve the situation?
    • Example: “I tried to explain my perspective calmly, and I also listened to Mark’s reasons for wanting to go backpacking.”

4. The Resolution (2-3 sentences)

  • What was the outcome? Did you find a compromise or agree to disagree?
    • Example: “In the end, we compromised. We decided to go on a shorter hiking trip that was still challenging but not as intense as Mark’s original plan.”
  • Reflect on the experience: Briefly mention what you learned from the disagreement.
    • Example: “The experience taught me the importance of communication and compromise in relationships.”

Resolving Conflict: Communication and CompromiseResolving Conflict: Communication and Compromise

Example Answer

“I remember a time when I had a disagreement with my older brother, Mark. We’ve always been close, but we have very different personalities. We were planning a family vacation, and Mark wanted to go on an adventurous backpacking trip. I, on the other hand, was really hoping for a relaxing beach holiday. I was worried about the physical demands of backpacking and thought a beach vacation would be more enjoyable for everyone. We ended up having a quite a heated debate about it. I think we were both stressed about the planning and took it out on each other. I tried to explain my perspective calmly, and I also listened to Mark’s reasons for wanting to go backpacking. In the end, we compromised. We decided to go on a shorter hiking trip that was still challenging but not as intense as Mark’s original plan. The experience taught me the importance of communication and compromise in relationships.”

Tips for Success

  • Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearse telling stories about disagreements using the structure above. This will help you speak fluently and confidently during the exam.
  • Don’t Memorize: While practicing is helpful, don’t memorize answers. The examiner can spot this, and it may lower your score.
  • Be Authentic: Choose a disagreement that you genuinely remember and can talk about with some detail.
  • Keep it Positive: You don’t need to describe a major falling out. Focus on the resolution and what you learned from the experience.
  • Vocabulary is Key: Use a range of vocabulary related to disagreements, feelings, and resolutions. This demonstrates your language proficiency.

By following these tips and practicing your storytelling, you’ll be well-prepared to answer “disagreement” questions effectively and confidently in the IELTS Speaking test.

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