Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on Investment Apps for Band 6-9 Scores

Investment apps have become increasingly popular in recent years, revolutionizing the way people manage their finances and invest their money. This topic is highly relevant to IELTS Writing Task 2, as it combines elements of …

Investment app interface on smartphone

Investment apps have become increasingly popular in recent years, revolutionizing the way people manage their finances and invest their money. This topic is highly relevant to IELTS Writing Task 2, as it combines elements of technology, finance, and personal responsibility. While it hasn’t appeared frequently in past exams, the growing importance of fintech in our daily lives suggests it may become more common in future tests. Let’s examine a potential IELTS Writing Task 2 question on this subject and analyze sample essays for different band scores.

Some people believe that investment apps make it too easy for inexperienced individuals to lose money in the stock market. Others argue that these apps democratize investing and provide valuable opportunities for financial growth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Analysis of the Question

This question presents a balanced argument about the impact of investment apps on individual investors. It requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss the potential risks of investment apps for inexperienced users
  2. Explore the benefits of these apps in making investing more accessible
  3. Provide a personal opinion on the overall impact of investment apps

Now, let’s look at sample essays for different band scores.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

Investment apps have undeniably transformed the landscape of personal finance, offering unprecedented access to the stock market for millions of individuals. While some argue that these platforms expose novice investors to significant financial risks, others contend that they democratize investing and create opportunities for widespread financial growth. In my opinion, while investment apps do present certain dangers, their overall impact is positive when used responsibly.

Critics of investment apps raise valid concerns about the potential for inexperienced individuals to suffer substantial losses. The ease of use and gamification elements often employed by these apps can lead to impulsive decision-making and a lack of thorough research. For instance, the recent GameStop stock frenzy, largely fueled by app-based traders, demonstrated how quickly uninformed investors can be swept up in market hysteria, potentially resulting in severe financial consequences. Furthermore, the simplified interfaces of many apps may obscure the complexities of the stock market, giving users a false sense of security and expertise.

On the other hand, proponents argue that investment apps have democratized finance in ways previously unimaginable. By lowering barriers to entry, such as high minimum investment requirements and complex brokerage processes, these apps have made investing accessible to a broader demographic. This increased accessibility has the potential to reduce wealth inequality by allowing more people to participate in market growth. Additionally, many apps offer educational resources and tools that can help users develop their financial literacy over time. For example, some platforms provide simulated trading environments where novice investors can practice without risking real money.

In my view, while the concerns about investment apps are legitimate, their benefits outweigh the potential drawbacks when used judiciously. The key lies in promoting financial education alongside these technological advancements. By integrating comprehensive learning modules and implementing safeguards against reckless trading, app developers can mitigate many of the risks associated with inexperienced investing. Moreover, regulatory bodies should adapt to this new landscape, ensuring that app-based platforms adhere to strict standards of transparency and user protection.

In conclusion, investment apps represent a double-edged sword in the world of personal finance. While they can expose inexperienced individuals to financial risks, they also offer unprecedented opportunities for financial growth and education. By focusing on responsible use and continuous learning, we can harness the potential of these apps to create a more financially inclusive society.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

Investment apps have become very popular recently, and people have different opinions about them. Some think they are dangerous for people who don’t know much about investing, while others believe they give everyone a chance to grow their money. I will discuss both sides and give my opinion.

Firstly, there are risks with investment apps. They make it very easy to buy and sell stocks, which can be a problem for people who don’t understand the stock market well. For example, someone might see a stock going up and quickly buy it without doing research, then lose money when it goes down. Also, these apps sometimes make investing feel like a game, which could make people take big risks without thinking carefully.

On the other hand, investment apps have good points too. They allow many people to invest who couldn’t before because traditional investing was too expensive or complicated. This means more people have a chance to make money from the stock market. Some apps also teach users about investing, which can help them make better decisions over time.

In my opinion, investment apps can be good if people use them carefully. It’s important for app makers to include clear warnings about risks and provide good educational materials. Users should also take responsibility to learn about investing before using these apps with real money. The impact of mobile banking on savings is similar, as it has both benefits and risks that users need to understand.

To conclude, while investment apps can be risky for inexperienced users, they also offer valuable opportunities for many people to invest and learn about finance. The key is to use them responsibly and with proper education.

Sample Essay 3 (Band 5-6)

Investment apps are new technology that many people use now. Some people think they are bad and others think they are good. I will talk about both sides.

First, investment apps can be dangerous. They are very easy to use and some people might lose money. If someone doesn’t know about stocks, they might make bad choices. Also, these apps look like games sometimes, so people might not take it serious.

But investment apps also have good things. More people can invest now because it’s easier. Before, only rich people could invest. Now everyone can try to make money from stocks. Some apps also teach people about investing, which is good.

I think investment apps can be good if people are careful. It’s important to learn about investing before using these apps. App makers should also make sure their apps are safe and give good information to users. How fintech changes the way we invest shows that technology is changing how we handle money, and we need to adapt.

In conclusion, investment apps have both good and bad points. People should be careful when using them and try to learn more about investing.

Investment app interface on smartphoneInvestment app interface on smartphone

Explanation of Band Scores

Band 8-9 Essay:

This essay demonstrates excellent writing skills and a sophisticated approach to the topic. It excels in several key areas:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, providing a well-balanced discussion of both viewpoints and a clear personal opinion.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression throughout the essay. Paragraphs are well-linked, and cohesive devices are used effectively.

  3. Lexical Resource: The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Examples include “unprecedented access,” “gamification elements,” and “mitigate many of the risks.”

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: It displays a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy. Complex sentences are used effectively, and there are no noticeable errors.

  5. Development of Ideas: Each point is thoroughly developed with relevant examples and explanations, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Band 6-7 Essay:

This essay shows a good attempt at addressing the task but lacks some of the sophistication of the higher band essay:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task, but the ideas are less fully developed compared to the Band 8-9 essay.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: There is a clear overall progression, but cohesive devices are less sophisticated and sometimes overused (e.g., “Firstly,” “On the other hand”).

  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but lacks the precision and sophistication of the higher band essay. There’s some attempt at less common vocabulary (e.g., “traditional investing”).

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, with generally good control. However, the range is more limited compared to the Band 8-9 essay.

  5. Development of Ideas: Ideas are relevant but less fully extended. Examples are given but not as specific or well-elaborated as in the higher band essay.

Band 5-6 Essay:

This essay demonstrates a basic attempt at addressing the task but has several limitations:

  1. Task Achievement: The main points are addressed, but the treatment is general with limited development.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: There’s a basic structure, but paragraphing is not always logical, and cohesive devices are simple and repetitive.

  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some errors in word choice and usage.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Sentence structures are simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences.

  5. Development of Ideas: Ideas are present but not well-developed. Examples are general and lack specificity.

Financial education through investment appsFinancial education through investment apps

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Democratize (verb) /dɪˈmɒkrətaɪz/ – make (something) accessible to everyone

  2. Impulsive (adjective) /ɪmˈpʌlsɪv/ – acting or done without forethought

  3. Gamification (noun) /ˌgeɪmɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/ – the application of typical elements of game playing to other areas of activity

  4. Mitigate (verb) /ˈmɪtɪgeɪt/ – make less severe, serious, or painful

  5. Novice (noun) /ˈnɒvɪs/ – a person new to and inexperienced in a job or situation

  6. Volatility (noun) /ˌvɒləˈtɪləti/ – liability to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse

  7. Literacy (noun) /ˈlɪtərəsi/ – competence or knowledge in a specified area

  8. Transparency (noun) /trænsˈpærənsi/ – the condition of being transparent or easily understood

  9. Regulatory (adjective) /ˈreɡjələtəri/ – serving or intended to regulate something

  10. Safeguard (noun) /ˈseɪfɡɑːd/ – a measure taken to protect someone or something or to prevent something undesirable

In conclusion, the topic of investment apps and their impact on personal finance is a rich area for IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. It allows candidates to demonstrate their understanding of modern financial technologies and their ability to discuss complex issues. When approaching such topics, remember to provide a balanced discussion, use specific examples, and clearly state your own opinion.

For practice, try writing your own essay on this topic or related themes such as how fintech is disrupting traditional banking or the importance of financial advisors for personal growth. You can post your practice essays in the comments section for feedback and discussion with other learners. This active engagement will help you improve your writing skills and prepare effectively for the IELTS exam.

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