Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays and Analysis on Global Health Initiatives for Band 6-9

Global health initiatives have become an increasingly important topic in IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. This subject has appeared in various forms over the past few years, and its relevance is expected to grow given …

People working together to provide medical aid in a developing country

Global health initiatives have become an increasingly important topic in IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. This subject has appeared in various forms over the past few years, and its relevance is expected to grow given the current global health challenges. Based on recent trends, we can anticipate seeing questions related to international health cooperation, pandemic preparedness, and healthcare accessibility in future IELTS exams. Let’s examine a relevant question that has appeared in recent tests:

Some people think that governments should spend money on international aid to help solve health problems in other parts of the world, while others believe that this money should be spent on health care in their own country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Analyzing the Question

This question addresses the debate between allocating resources for global health initiatives versus focusing on domestic healthcare needs. It requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss arguments for international health aid
  2. Explore reasons for prioritizing domestic healthcare
  3. Present a balanced view of both perspectives
  4. Provide a personal opinion with supporting arguments

Now, let’s examine sample essays for different band scores, starting with a high-scoring response.

Band 8-9 Sample Essay

The allocation of government funds for healthcare has sparked a debate between those who advocate for international aid and those who prioritize domestic health issues. While both perspectives have merit, I believe a balanced approach that addresses both global and local health concerns is the most effective strategy.

Proponents of international health aid argue that global health challenges require collaborative efforts. Diseases do not respect borders, and how public health campaigns influence lifestyle choices in one country can have far-reaching effects on global health. By investing in health initiatives abroad, nations can prevent the spread of infectious diseases and create a healthier global population. Moreover, such aid can foster goodwill and strengthen diplomatic ties, potentially leading to future cooperation in various fields.

People working together to provide medical aid in a developing countryPeople working together to provide medical aid in a developing country

On the other hand, those who prioritize domestic healthcare argue that a government’s primary responsibility is to its citizens. They contend that many countries face significant health challenges at home, including inadequate infrastructure, shortages of medical professionals, and rising healthcare costs. Investing in domestic health systems can improve the overall quality of life for citizens and boost economic productivity by maintaining a healthier workforce.

In my opinion, the most effective approach is to strike a balance between these two perspectives. Governments should allocate a portion of their health budget to international aid, recognizing the interconnected nature of global health. However, the majority of funds should be directed towards strengthening domestic healthcare systems. This balanced strategy ensures that a country can contribute to global health initiatives while still prioritizing the wellbeing of its citizens.

Furthermore, how can technology bridge the healthcare gap in rural areas is a crucial consideration in this debate. By investing in telemedicine and other technological solutions, countries can improve healthcare access domestically while also sharing these innovations internationally, thus addressing both local and global health concerns simultaneously.

A doctor remotely consulting with a patient in a rural area using a computer screenA doctor remotely consulting with a patient in a rural area using a computer screen

In conclusion, while the debate between international health aid and domestic healthcare spending is complex, a nuanced approach that addresses both is crucial. By balancing global responsibilities with local needs, governments can contribute to a healthier world while ensuring the wellbeing of their own citizens.

(Word count: 379)

Explanation of Band 8-9 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a high-scoring IELTS Writing Task 2 response:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and clearly presenting a personal opinion.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression throughout the essay. Paragraphing is appropriate and cohesive devices are used effectively.
  3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately, including topic-specific terms like “infectious diseases,” “diplomatic ties,” and “economic productivity.”
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately and flexibly, including complex sentences and various tenses.

Band 6-7 Sample Essay

There is a debate about whether governments should spend money on international health aid or focus on their own country’s healthcare. Both sides have good points, and I will discuss them before giving my opinion.

Some people think governments should help solve health problems in other countries. They say that diseases can spread easily around the world, so helping other countries is important for everyone’s health. Also, giving aid can make countries friendlier with each other, which is good for peace.

However, others believe that money should be spent on healthcare at home. They think the government’s main job is to look after its own people. Many countries have problems with their hospitals and don’t have enough doctors. Fixing these problems can help people live better and work better.

A crowded hospital waiting room with patients waiting for treatmentA crowded hospital waiting room with patients waiting for treatment

In my opinion, I think governments should mostly focus on their own country’s healthcare, but also give some money to help other countries. This way, they can make sure their own people are healthy while still helping with big world health problems.

It’s also important to think about should public health programs focus on preventive care. By teaching people how to stay healthy, governments can save money on healthcare in the long run, both at home and when helping other countries.

To conclude, while helping other countries with health problems is important, I believe governments should mainly focus on improving healthcare in their own country. This approach can lead to better health for everyone in the long term.

(Word count: 292)

Explanation of Band 6-7 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a mid-range IELTS Writing Task 2 response:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task, presenting both views and offering a personal opinion. However, the ideas could be more fully developed.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally well-organized, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or mechanical.
  3. Lexical Resource: A sufficient range of vocabulary is used, but there is less precision and sophistication compared to the Band 8-9 essay.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally good control, though there is less variety compared to higher band scores.

Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Global health initiatives (noun phrase) – /ˈɡləʊbəl helθ ɪˈnɪʃətɪvz/ – Worldwide efforts to improve health and healthcare
  2. Allocate (verb) – /ˈæləkeɪt/ – To distribute for a specific purpose
  3. Collaborative (adjective) – /kəˈlæbərətɪv/ – Involving two or more parties working together
  4. Diplomatic ties (noun phrase) – /ˌdɪpləˈmætɪk taɪz/ – Official relationships between countries
  5. Infrastructure (noun) – /ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃə(r)/ – Basic physical systems of a country or region
  6. Telemedicine (noun) – /ˌtelɪˈmedɪsn/ – The remote diagnosis and treatment of patients using telecommunications technology
  7. Nuanced (adjective) – /ˈnjuːɑːnst/ – Characterized by subtle differences or distinctions
  8. Preventive care (noun phrase) – /prɪˈventɪv keə(r)/ – Healthcare that focuses on preventing illness rather than treating it

In conclusion, the topic of global health initiatives is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS Writing Task 2 exams. Candidates should be prepared to discuss various aspects of this issue, including the balance between international aid and domestic healthcare spending, the role of technology in healthcare, and the importance of preventive care. To practice, try writing your own essay on this topic or related themes such as the impact of pandemics on global health policies or the role of non-governmental organizations in international health initiatives. Feel free to share your practice essays in the comments section for feedback and further discussion.

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