Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on Promoting Workplace Diversity (Band 6-9)

The topic of promoting diversity in workplaces has become increasingly prevalent in IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. Based on recent trends and the growing importance of this subject in global discourse, we can expect to see more questions related to workplace diversity in future IELTS exams. Let’s examine a relevant question that has appeared in past tests and provide sample essays for different band scores.

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, but only about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Analyzing the Question

This question indirectly addresses workplace diversity by focusing on dress codes, which can be a significant aspect of cultural and individual expression in the workplace. It requires candidates to discuss the balance between personal expression through clothing and professional standards in the workplace.

diverse workplace meeting

Sample Essays

Band 9 Essay

Workplace attire has long been a subject of debate, with some arguing that an employee’s performance should be the sole focus of employers, while others believe that dress codes play a crucial role in maintaining a professional environment. In my opinion, while the quality of work should indeed be the primary concern, employers should not entirely disregard the way their employees dress, as it can impact the overall work atmosphere and company image.

Undoubtedly, an employee’s competence and the quality of their work should be the foremost consideration for any employer. Skills, knowledge, and productivity are the cornerstones of a successful business, and these attributes are not necessarily reflected in one’s choice of clothing. Many highly skilled professionals may prefer casual attire, and their talents should not be overlooked due to their sartorial choices. Moreover, in certain industries, such as technology startups, a relaxed dress code can foster creativity and innovation.

However, completely disregarding employee attire could potentially lead to problems in the workplace. Appropriate dress often contributes to a professional atmosphere, which can enhance productivity and maintain a sense of seriousness about the work being done. Furthermore, in client-facing roles, employee appearance can significantly impact the company’s image and credibility. A well-dressed team can instill confidence in clients and partners, potentially leading to better business outcomes.

That being said, it is crucial for employers to strike a balance and implement dress codes that are inclusive and respectful of diversity. Overly strict or culturally insensitive dress codes can alienate employees and potentially lead to discrimination. Employers should focus on creating guidelines that ensure a professional appearance while allowing for personal expression and cultural diversity.

In conclusion, while the quality of work should undoubtedly be the primary focus for employers, the way employees dress should not be entirely disregarded. A balanced approach that values both performance and appropriate attire can create a positive, professional, and inclusive work environment that benefits both the employees and the organization as a whole.

(Word count: 309)

Band 7 Essay

The debate over whether employers should focus solely on the quality of work or also consider how their employees dress is a complex one. In my opinion, while work quality should be the main priority, employers should not completely ignore dress codes as they can impact the workplace environment.

Firstly, it’s clear that an employee’s skills and work output are the most important factors in their job performance. A person’s abilities and productivity contribute directly to a company’s success, regardless of what they wear. In many modern industries, especially in creative fields, casual dress is becoming more common and doesn’t necessarily reflect on an employee’s competence.

However, how employees dress can affect the overall work atmosphere and company image. In some professions, particularly those involving client interactions, appropriate attire can help maintain a professional image. It can also show respect for the workplace and colleagues. Additionally, a basic dress code can help create a sense of unity and belonging among employees.

That being said, employers should be careful not to implement overly strict or discriminatory dress policies. They should respect cultural differences and individual expressions while maintaining a professional standard. A balance is needed between allowing personal style and ensuring a workplace-appropriate appearance.

In conclusion, while the quality of work should be the primary concern for employers, the way employees dress shouldn’t be completely overlooked. A flexible approach that values both performance and appropriate attire can create a positive and professional work environment.

(Word count: 234)

Band 6 Essay

I think that employers should care mostly about the quality of their employees’ work, but they should also pay some attention to how employees dress. There are good reasons for this opinion.

First, the most important thing is how well an employee does their job. If someone is very skilled and works hard, it doesn’t really matter what they wear. Many successful companies now let their workers dress casually, and this doesn’t affect their work quality.

But, how people dress at work can be important too. When employees meet clients or represent the company, their appearance matters. Dressing well can make the company look more professional. Also, a basic dress code can help create a good work environment where everyone feels part of the team.

However, employers should not be too strict about dress codes. They should respect different cultures and allow some personal style. The main focus should always be on how well people do their jobs.

In conclusion, while work quality is the most important thing, employers should also think about how their employees dress, but without being too controlling about it.

(Word count: 178)

Explanation of Band Scores

Band 9 Essay Explanation

This essay demonstrates excellence in all four marking criteria:

1. Task Response: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a well-developed response with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression throughout. Paragraphs are well-linked, and cohesive devices are used effectively.
3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features. Rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A wide range of structures is used with full flexibility and accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free with only very occasional slips.

Band 7 Essay Explanation

This essay shows a good command of the language despite some inaccuracies:

1. Task Response: The essay addresses all parts of the task, though some parts are more fully covered than others.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Information and ideas are organized logically, and there is a clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively, but there could be more variety.
3. Lexical Resource: There is a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Less common lexical items are used, but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility. Frequent error-free sentences are produced, but some grammatical mistakes persist.

Band 6 Essay Explanation

This essay shows an adequate command of the language despite some inaccuracies:

1. Task Response: The essay addresses the task in a general way, but the format is simple, and some key points lack detail.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: Information and ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression. However, cohesive devices are limited and mechanical.
3. Lexical Resource: An adequate range of vocabulary is used for the task. Attempts at using less common vocabulary are made but with some inaccuracy.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used. While there are frequent mistakes, they do not impede communication.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

1. Diversity (noun) – /daɪˈvɜːrsəti/ – the practice or quality of including or involving people from a range of different social and ethnic backgrounds and of different genders, sexual orientations, etc.

2. Inclusive (adjective) – /ɪnˈkluːsɪv/ – aiming to include all types of people and treat them fairly and equally

3. Discrimination (noun) – /dɪˌskrɪmɪˈneɪʃn/ – the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of race, age, sex, or disability

4. Sartorial (adjective) – /sɑːrˈtɔːriəl/ – relating to tailoring, clothes, or style of dress

5. Professional (adjective) – /prəˈfeʃənl/ – relating to or belonging to a profession

6. Competence (noun) – /ˈkɒmpɪtəns/ – the ability to do something successfully or efficiently

7. Alienate (verb) – /ˈeɪliəneɪt/ – to cause someone to feel isolated or estranged

8. Creativity (noun) – /ˌkriːeɪˈtɪvəti/ – the use of imagination or original ideas to create something

9. Innovation (noun) – /ˌɪnəˈveɪʃn/ – the action or process of innovating; a new method, idea, product, etc.

10. Attire (noun) – /əˈtaɪər/ – clothes, especially fine or formal ones

Conclusion

The topic of promoting diversity in workplaces, including aspects such as dress codes, is likely to remain relevant in IELTS Writing Task 2. Future questions might explore related themes like:

• The impact of diverse leadership on company performance
• The role of language diversity in multinational corporations
• Addressing age discrimination in the workplace
• Balancing local cultural norms with global business practices

To prepare effectively, practice writing essays on these topics, focusing on developing clear arguments, using appropriate vocabulary, and maintaining good essay structure. Feel free to share your practice essays in the comments section for feedback and discussion with fellow IELTS candidates.

For more insights on related topics, you might find these articles helpful:

• Importance of Cultural Diversity in the Workplace
• How to Promote Gender Equity in the Workplace
• The Role of Governments in Promoting Gender Equality

Remember, consistent practice is key to improving your IELTS Writing skills. Good luck with your preparation!