Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Mental Health Awareness in Workplaces – Sample Essays and Analysis for Different Band Scores

Mental Health Awareness In Workplaces has become an increasingly important topic in recent years, reflecting a growing recognition of its impact on employee well-being and organizational productivity. This subject has also gained prominence in IELTS Writing Task 2 questions, appearing with notable frequency in past exams and likely to continue as a relevant theme in future tests.

Based on an analysis of past IELTS exams and current trends, we can expect to encounter questions related to mental health in the workplace. Let’s explore a sample question that closely aligns with this topic:

Some people believe that employers should focus on creating a positive work environment to support their employees’ mental health. Others argue that mental health is a personal responsibility and should not be a concern for employers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Analysis of the Question

This question presents a balanced argument about the role of employers in supporting employees’ mental health. It requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss the view that employers should create a positive work environment for mental health support.
  2. Explore the opposing view that mental health is a personal responsibility.
  3. Provide their own opinion on the matter.

The essay should be well-structured, presenting both sides of the argument before concluding with a personal stance.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

In recent years, the importance of mental health in the workplace has gained significant attention. While some argue that employers should take an active role in promoting mental well-being, others contend that it is primarily an individual’s responsibility. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.

Proponents of employer involvement in mental health argue that creating a positive work environment is crucial for employee well-being and productivity. They assert that companies have a moral and practical obligation to support their staff’s mental health. This support can manifest in various ways, such as flexible working hours, stress management programs, and access to counseling services. By implementing these measures, employers can potentially reduce absenteeism, improve job satisfaction, and ultimately enhance overall productivity. Moreover, a mentally healthy workforce is likely to be more innovative and resilient, giving companies a competitive edge in today’s challenging business landscape.

On the other hand, those who believe mental health is a personal responsibility argue that individuals should be accountable for their own well-being. They contend that relying too heavily on employers for mental health support may foster dependency and undermine personal resilience. Additionally, they point out that mental health is influenced by various factors outside the workplace, such as personal relationships, lifestyle choices, and genetic predispositions. Therefore, they argue, it is unrealistic and potentially intrusive for employers to take on the role of mental health custodians for their employees.

In my opinion, while individuals should undoubtedly take primary responsibility for their mental health, employers play a crucial role in creating an environment that supports and nurtures mental well-being. The workplace is where most adults spend a significant portion of their waking hours, and its impact on mental health cannot be underestimated. By fostering a supportive culture, providing resources, and implementing policies that promote work-life balance, employers can significantly contribute to their employees’ mental health without overstepping boundaries or fostering dependency.

In conclusion, mental health in the workplace is a shared responsibility. While individuals must take charge of their own well-being, employers have a vital role in creating an environment that supports mental health. By striking a balance between personal accountability and organizational support, we can create workplaces that are not only more productive but also more humane and fulfilling.

(Word count: 366)

Explanation of Band Score 8-9

This essay demonstrates several qualities that justify a high band score:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and clearly presenting a personal opinion.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices.

  3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately, with sophisticated phrases like “foster dependency” and “undermine personal resilience.”

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately, including complex sentences and varied sentence structures.

  5. Development of Ideas: Ideas are fully developed with relevant examples and explanations, demonstrating a sophisticated approach to the topic.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

Mental health at work is a big topic these days. Some people think companies should help their workers’ mental health, while others say it’s up to the individual. I will discuss both sides and give my opinion.

Those who support employer involvement say that companies should create a good work environment for mental health. They believe this can help workers be happier and more productive. For example, companies can offer flexible working hours or provide counseling services. This can make employees feel valued and reduce stress. Also, when workers are mentally healthy, they might work better and take fewer sick days, which is good for the company.

On the other hand, some people think mental health is a personal matter. They say that individuals should take care of their own mental health and not rely on their employer. They argue that mental health is affected by many things outside of work, like family problems or personal habits. These people think it’s not fair to expect companies to be responsible for their workers’ mental health.

In my opinion, I think both employers and employees have a role in mental health. Companies should try to create a good work environment and offer some support, but workers should also take care of themselves. It’s important to have a balance between company help and personal responsibility.

To conclude, mental health at work is a shared responsibility. While companies can provide support, individuals should also take charge of their own well-being. By working together, we can create better and healthier workplaces.

(Word count: 263)

Explanation of Band Score 6-7

This essay demonstrates several qualities that place it in the Band 6-7 range:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task, but the ideas could be more fully developed.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally well-organized, but the use of cohesive devices is less sophisticated than in the Band 8-9 essay.

  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is appropriate but less varied and sophisticated compared to the higher band essay.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, with generally good control of grammar.

  5. Development of Ideas: Ideas are presented clearly but could be expanded upon with more specific examples or deeper analysis.

Mental health in the workplaceMental health in the workplace

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Mental well-being (noun) – /ˈmen.təl wel-ˈbiː.ɪŋ/ – The state of feeling good about ourselves and the way our lives are going
  2. Absenteeism (noun) – /ˌæb.sənˈtiː.ɪ.zəm/ – The practice of regularly staying away from work without good reason
  3. Resilience (noun) – /rɪˈzɪl.i.əns/ – The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties
  4. Work-life balance (noun) – /ˌwɜːk.laɪf ˈbæl.əns/ – The division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities
  5. Productivity (noun) – /ˌprɒd.ʌkˈtɪv.ə.ti/ – The effectiveness of productive effort, especially in industry, as measured in terms of the rate of output per unit of input
  6. Stress management (noun) – /stres ˈmæn.ɪdʒ.mənt/ – A set of techniques and programs intended to help people deal more effectively with stress
  7. Job satisfaction (noun) – /dʒɒb ˌsæt.ɪsˈfæk.ʃən/ – A feeling of fulfillment or enjoyment that a person derives from their job
  8. Counseling services (noun) – /ˈkaʊn.səl.ɪŋ ˈsɜː.vɪ.sɪz/ – Professional assistance and guidance in resolving personal or psychological problems
  9. Intrusive (adjective) – /ɪnˈtruː.sɪv/ – Causing disruption or annoyance through being unwelcome or uninvited
  10. Foster (verb) – /ˈfɒs.tər/ – To encourage or promote the development of something

Conclusion

The topic of mental health awareness in workplaces is likely to remain relevant in IELTS Writing Task 2. It touches on important aspects of modern work life, including employee well-being, productivity, and the evolving role of employers in supporting their staff.

For future practice, consider exploring related topics such as:

  1. The impact of technology on workplace mental health
  2. The role of government policies in promoting mental health at work
  3. The balance between privacy and employer involvement in mental health support
  4. The economic implications of workplace mental health initiatives

To enhance your IELTS Writing skills, try crafting your own essay on the given topic or one of the suggested themes. Feel free to share your practice essays in the comments section for feedback and discussion. Remember, consistent practice is key to improving your writing skills and achieving a higher band score in IELTS Writing Task 2.

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