Mental health support for adolescents in schools is an increasingly important topic in IELTS Writing Task 2 essays. Based on recent trends and the growing emphasis on youth mental well-being, this subject is likely to appear more frequently in future IELTS exams. To help you prepare, let’s analyze a relevant essay question and provide sample responses for different band scores.
Essay Question Analysis
Let’s examine a potential IELTS Writing Task 2 question on this topic:
Many schools are now implementing mental health support programs for adolescents. Some people believe this is an essential service, while others think it’s not the school’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
This question requires you to:
- Discuss arguments for schools providing mental health support
- Present reasons why some believe it’s not the school’s responsibility
- Provide your personal opinion on the matter
Now, let’s look at sample essays for different band scores.
Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)
Mental health has become a crucial concern in modern society, particularly among adolescents. While some argue that schools should play a pivotal role in providing mental health support, others contend that this responsibility lies elsewhere. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint.
Proponents of school-based mental health programs argue that these initiatives are essential for several reasons. Firstly, schools are where adolescents spend a significant portion of their time, making them ideal locations for identifying and addressing mental health issues early. Secondly, integrating mental health support into the educational environment helps normalize conversations about mental well-being, reducing stigma and encouraging students to seek help when needed. Moreover, school-based programs can ensure equitable access to mental health resources, benefiting students who might not have such support available at home or in their communities.
On the other hand, those opposing school-based mental health support contend that it falls outside the traditional scope of education. They argue that schools should focus on academic instruction, leaving mental health care to specialized professionals and healthcare systems. Additionally, there are concerns about the qualifications of school staff to handle complex mental health issues and the potential liability schools may face if interventions are ineffective or harmful. Some also worry that such programs might infringe on parental rights to make decisions about their children’s mental health care.
In my opinion, while the concerns raised by opponents are valid, the benefits of school-based mental health support far outweigh the drawbacks. Schools have a unique opportunity to promote holistic student development, which includes not only academic growth but also emotional and psychological well-being. By implementing well-designed programs with properly trained staff, schools can provide a crucial first line of support for adolescents, complementing rather than replacing professional mental health services. Furthermore, early intervention through school-based programs can prevent minor issues from escalating into more severe problems, ultimately benefiting both individuals and society at large.
In conclusion, while the implementation of mental health support in schools presents challenges, it is an essential service that can significantly impact adolescent well-being. By striking a balance between academic focus and mental health support, schools can better prepare students for the complexities of modern life and help create a more resilient and emotionally intelligent generation.
(Word count: 374)
Analysis of Band 8-9 Essay
This essay demonstrates excellence in several key areas:
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Task Response: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and clearly presenting a personal opinion.
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Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Paragraphs are well-linked using a variety of cohesive devices.
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Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately. For example: “pivotal role”, “equitable access”, “infringe on parental rights”, “holistic student development”.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a variety of complex structures accurately. For instance: “While some argue that…”, “By implementing well-designed programs…”, “complementing rather than replacing…”.
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Development of Ideas: Each point is well-developed with relevant examples and explanations.
Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)
Mental health is becoming a big issue for teenagers these days. Some people think schools should help students with this, but others disagree. I will talk about both sides and give my opinion.
People who support mental health programs in schools have some good reasons. First, students spend a lot of time at school, so it’s a good place to spot problems early. Also, if schools talk about mental health, it might make students feel more comfortable asking for help. Another point is that some students might not be able to get help outside of school, so school programs can be really important for them.
On the other hand, some people think schools shouldn’t be responsible for mental health. They say that schools should focus on teaching subjects like math and science. They worry that teachers might not know enough about mental health to help properly. Some people also think that parents should be the ones to decide about their children’s mental health care, not schools.
I think that schools should provide some mental health support. While it’s true that schools are mainly for learning, I believe that helping students with their mental health can make them better learners. If students are feeling stressed or sad, they probably won’t do well in their studies. Schools don’t need to replace doctors or therapists, but they can offer some basic support and help students who need more help to find it.
In conclusion, even though there are some challenges, I believe that mental health support in schools is very important. It can help students do better in their studies and in life. Schools should try to find a good balance between teaching regular subjects and helping students with their mental health.
(Word count: 293)
Analysis of Band 6-7 Essay
This essay demonstrates competence in several areas but lacks the sophistication of a higher band score:
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Task Response: The essay addresses all parts of the task, but the ideas are less fully developed compared to the Band 8-9 essay.
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Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally coherent with basic paragraph organization, but the linking between ideas is less sophisticated.
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Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is adequate but less varied and precise compared to the higher band essay. There’s some attempt at using less common vocabulary, e.g., “spot problems early”.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but with less variety and control compared to the Band 8-9 essay.
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Development of Ideas: Ideas are presented and supported, but with less depth and detail than the higher band essay.
Key Vocabulary to Remember
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Mental well-being (noun) – /ˈmen.təl wel-ˈbiː.ɪŋ/ – The state of mental health and emotional balance.
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Stigma (noun) – /ˈstɪɡ.mə/ – A strong feeling of disapproval that most people in a society have about something.
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Equitable (adjective) – /ˈek.wɪ.tə.bəl/ – Fair and impartial.
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Holistic (adjective) – /həʊˈlɪs.tɪk/ – Considering the whole person or situation, not just parts.
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Intervention (noun) – /ˌɪn.təˈven.ʃən/ – The act of becoming involved in a difficult situation to improve it or prevent it from getting worse.
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Resilient (adjective) – /rɪˈzɪl.jənt/ – Able to recover quickly from difficult conditions.
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Complement (verb) – /ˈkɒm.plɪ.ment/ – To add to something in a way that improves it or makes it more attractive.
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Pivotal (adjective) – /ˈpɪv.ə.təl/ – Of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else.
Conclusion
The topic of mental health support for adolescents in schools is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS exams. To prepare, practice writing essays on related themes such as:
- The role of technology in supporting student mental health
- Balancing academic pressure and mental well-being in schools
- The impact of peer support programs on student mental health
Remember, the key to improving your IELTS Writing score is consistent practice. Try writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments section below for feedback and discussion. This active practice will help you develop your writing skills and prepare you for success in your IELTS exam.
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