IELTS Writing Task 2: Mastering Essays on Mental Health Support in Workplaces with Sample Band 7 and Band 8 Responses

Mental health support in workplaces has become an increasingly important topic in recent years, reflecting growing awareness of employee wellbeing and its impact on productivity. This topic has appeared in various forms in IELTS Writing …

Mental health support in the workplace illustration

Mental health support in workplaces has become an increasingly important topic in recent years, reflecting growing awareness of employee wellbeing and its impact on productivity. This topic has appeared in various forms in IELTS Writing Task 2 questions, and its relevance is likely to continue in future tests. Based on analysis of past IELTS exams and current trends, we can expect questions related to mental health support in workplaces to appear with moderate frequency.

Let’s examine a sample question that closely resembles those seen in recent IELTS exams:

Some people believe that employers should provide mental health support for their employees, while others think it is not the responsibility of companies. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Analyzing the Question

This question requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss arguments for employer-provided mental health support
  2. Explore reasons why some believe it’s not a company’s responsibility
  3. Present and justify their own opinion on the matter

The question touches on themes of corporate responsibility, employee welfare, and the changing nature of workplace expectations. It’s crucial to address all parts of the question while maintaining a balanced argument.

The impact of mental health on employee performance is a critical factor to consider when discussing this topic. Understanding this relationship can help form a more comprehensive response to the question.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8)

In recent years, the debate over whether companies should provide mental health support for their employees has gained significant traction. While some argue that it is an essential aspect of employee care, others contend that it falls outside the purview of corporate responsibility. In my opinion, employers should indeed offer mental health support, as it benefits both the employees and the company in the long run.

Proponents of employer-provided mental health support argue that it is crucial for maintaining a healthy and productive workforce. They contend that mental health issues can significantly impact job performance, leading to decreased productivity, increased absenteeism, and higher turnover rates. By offering support services such as counseling, stress management workshops, and mental health days, companies can help their employees maintain better mental health, ultimately leading to a more stable and efficient work environment. Moreover, such initiatives demonstrate that the company values its employees’ overall wellbeing, which can boost morale and loyalty.

On the other hand, those who believe mental health support is not a company’s responsibility argue that it blurs the line between professional and personal life. They maintain that employees should seek mental health support independently, just as they would for physical health issues. Additionally, some argue that providing such services could be financially burdensome for companies, especially smaller businesses with limited resources. There are also concerns about privacy and the potential for discrimination if employers become too involved in their employees’ mental health.

In my view, the benefits of employer-provided mental health support far outweigh the potential drawbacks. Mental health is intrinsically linked to work performance and overall job satisfaction. By investing in their employees’ mental wellbeing, companies are essentially investing in their own success. Moreover, with the increasing prevalence of work-related stress and burnout, it is incumbent upon employers to address these issues proactively. While it’s true that smaller companies may face financial constraints, even modest initiatives can make a significant difference in employee wellbeing.

In conclusion, while there are valid arguments on both sides, I believe that providing mental health support should be considered a fundamental aspect of employee care. As the workplace continues to evolve, companies that prioritize their employees’ mental health are likely to see returns in the form of increased productivity, loyalty, and overall success.

Mental health support in the workplace illustrationMental health support in the workplace illustration

Sample Essay 2 (Band 7)

The question of whether employers should provide mental health support for their workers is a topic of ongoing debate. Some people believe it’s an important part of employee care, while others think it’s not the company’s job. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and provide my personal opinion.

Those who support employer-provided mental health services argue that it’s beneficial for both employees and the company. They say that happy, healthy workers are more productive and less likely to take time off work. Companies that offer counseling, stress management classes, or mental health days show they care about their employees’ wellbeing. This can make workers feel valued and more loyal to the company. Also, with many people facing stress and anxiety due to work, it makes sense for employers to help address these issues.

On the other hand, some people believe that mental health support should not be the responsibility of employers. They argue that companies should focus on business matters and leave personal issues to individuals. There are concerns about privacy, as some employees might not want their mental health problems known at work. Additionally, providing these services can be expensive, especially for small businesses. Some also worry that offering mental health support might encourage employees to rely too much on their company for personal matters.

In my opinion, I believe that employers should provide some level of mental health support. While it’s true that personal issues are ultimately an individual’s responsibility, the workplace can significantly impact mental health. By offering support, companies can create a better work environment and potentially prevent problems before they become serious. However, this support should be balanced and respect employees’ privacy.

To conclude, although there are valid arguments on both sides, I think the benefits of employer-provided mental health support outweigh the drawbacks. As long as it’s implemented thoughtfully, such support can lead to healthier, happier, and more productive workplaces.

Explaining the Band Scores

Band 8 Essay Analysis

The Band 8 essay demonstrates several key strengths:

  1. Clear structure: The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion with the writer’s opinion.

  2. Sophisticated vocabulary: The essay uses advanced vocabulary and phrases such as “gained significant traction,” “falls outside the purview,” and “intrinsically linked.”

  3. Complex sentences: The writer employs a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with multiple clauses.

  4. Cohesion and coherence: Ideas flow smoothly between paragraphs, with effective use of linking words and phrases.

  5. Fully developed arguments: Each viewpoint is thoroughly explored with relevant examples and explanations.

  6. Clear position: The writer’s opinion is clearly stated and well-supported in the final body paragraph and conclusion.

The importance of promoting mental health awareness is effectively highlighted throughout the essay, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Band 7 Essay Analysis

The Band 7 essay shows good writing skills but has some areas for improvement:

  1. Structure: The essay has a clear structure, but the paragraphs are slightly less developed compared to the Band 8 essay.

  2. Vocabulary: While generally good, the vocabulary is less sophisticated than in the Band 8 essay. There’s room for more advanced words and phrases.

  3. Sentence variety: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but could benefit from more variety in sentence structures.

  4. Cohesion: The essay is generally cohesive, but could use more advanced linking words and phrases for smoother transitions.

  5. Argument development: Arguments are presented clearly, but could be elaborated on further with more specific examples or details.

  6. Position: The writer’s opinion is stated, but could be more strongly developed and justified.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Mental health support (noun phrase) – /ˈmentl helθ səˈpɔːrt/ – assistance provided for psychological wellbeing
  2. Corporate responsibility (noun phrase) – /ˈkɔːpərət rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪləti/ – ethical obligation of businesses towards society
  3. Productivity (noun) – /ˌprɒdʌkˈtɪvəti/ – efficiency of production or output
  4. Absenteeism (noun) – /ˌæbsənˈtiːɪzəm/ – habitual absence from work
  5. Burnout (noun) – /ˈbɜːnaʊt/ – physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress
  6. Proactive (adjective) – /prəʊˈæktɪv/ – creating or controlling a situation rather than just responding to it
  7. Wellbeing (noun) – /ˌwelˈbiːɪŋ/ – state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy
  8. Discrimination (noun) – /dɪˌskrɪmɪˈneɪʃn/ – unjust or prejudicial treatment based on certain characteristics
  9. Initiative (noun) – /ɪˈnɪʃətɪv/ – act or strategy intended to resolve a difficulty or improve a situation
  10. Incumbent (adjective) – /ɪnˈkʌmbənt/ – necessary as a duty or responsibility

Workplace mental health programs infographicWorkplace mental health programs infographic

Conclusion

The topic of mental health support in workplaces is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS Writing Task 2 questions. To prepare effectively, practice writing essays on related themes such as employee wellbeing, work-life balance, and corporate social responsibility. Remember to address all parts of the question, use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures, and clearly state and support your opinion.

Should governments provide free access to mental health care is another related topic you might encounter. Practicing with various perspectives on mental health support will help you develop a well-rounded understanding of the subject.

For additional practice, try writing an essay on the following question:

“Some people believe that companies should prioritize employee mental health over profits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Share your practice essays in the comments section below for feedback and discussion. This active engagement will help you refine your writing skills and prepare more effectively for the IELTS Writing Task 2.

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