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Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on Extending Paternal Leave with Expert Analysis

Father holding newborn baby in hospital

Father holding newborn baby in hospital

Parental leave policies, especially those concerning fathers, have become a hot topic in recent IELTS Writing Task 2 exams. Based on trends from past tests and predictions for future exams, we can expect this theme to appear frequently. Let’s examine a relevant question that has been featured in actual IELTS tests:

Some people think that parental leave from work should be extended for fathers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Analyzing the Question

This question asks for your opinion on extending paternal leave. It’s crucial to:

  1. Clearly state your position
  2. Provide balanced arguments
  3. Support your views with relevant examples

Let’s explore sample essays for different band scores, starting with a high-scoring response.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

Paternal leave has become an increasingly important topic in modern workplaces, with many advocating for its extension. I strongly agree that fathers should be granted longer parental leave, as it promotes gender equality, strengthens family bonds, and contributes to children’s overall development.

Firstly, extending paternal leave is a significant step towards achieving gender equality in both the workplace and home. Traditionally, childcare responsibilities have primarily fallen on mothers, often hindering their career progression. By encouraging fathers to take extended leave, we can challenge these outdated norms and create a more balanced distribution of parental duties. This shift not only allows mothers to return to work sooner if they choose but also helps reduce workplace discrimination against women of childbearing age.

Moreover, longer paternal leave fosters stronger emotional connections between fathers and their newborns. The early months of a child’s life are crucial for bonding, and extended leave allows fathers to be more involved in their child’s care and development from the start. This involvement has been shown to have long-lasting positive effects on children’s cognitive and emotional growth, as well as on the father’s parenting skills and confidence.

Furthermore, extended paternal leave can contribute to improved mental health for both parents. The postpartum period can be challenging, and having both parents present to share responsibilities can significantly reduce stress and the risk of postpartum depression. This support system is invaluable for the well-being of the entire family unit.

However, it’s important to acknowledge that extending paternal leave may pose challenges for some businesses, particularly small enterprises. To address this, governments and organizations should work together to create policies that support both employees and employers, such as offering tax incentives or implementing gradual leave extension programs.

In conclusion, the benefits of extending paternal leave far outweigh the potential drawbacks. By promoting gender equality, strengthening family bonds, and supporting child development, longer paternal leave contributes to a more progressive and family-friendly society. It is crucial for policymakers and businesses to recognize these benefits and take steps to implement more generous paternal leave policies.

The influence of culture on gender roles can significantly impact parental leave policies. As societies evolve, it’s essential to challenge traditional norms and create more inclusive environments for all parents.

(Word count: 379)

Essay Analysis (Band 8-9)

This essay demonstrates excellent qualities that justify a high band score:

  1. Task Response: The essay clearly addresses all parts of the task, presenting a well-developed argument with relevant examples.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Paragraphs are well-linked, and cohesive devices are used effectively.

  3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used accurately and appropriately, including less common phrases like “postpartum depression” and “cognitive and emotional growth.”

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay displays a variety of complex structures used accurately, with only minor errors that do not impede communication.

Father holding newborn baby in hospital

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

In recent years, there has been a growing debate about extending parental leave for fathers. I agree that paternal leave should be longer because it can help families and promote equality between men and women.

One main reason for extending paternal leave is that it allows fathers to bond with their new babies. When fathers spend more time with their children from the beginning, they can develop stronger relationships. This is good for both the father and the child. For example, studies have shown that children with involved fathers tend to do better in school and have fewer behavioral problems.

Another benefit of longer paternal leave is that it can help achieve gender equality in the workplace. If both mothers and fathers take time off work to care for their children, employers may be less likely to discriminate against women when hiring or promoting. This could lead to more women in leadership positions and help close the gender pay gap.

However, there are some challenges to extending paternal leave. Some companies, especially small businesses, might find it difficult to manage when employees are away for long periods. This could lead to decreased productivity or financial strain. Additionally, some fathers may feel pressure from their workplace or society to not take extended leave, even if it’s available.

Despite these challenges, I believe the benefits of longer paternal leave outweigh the drawbacks. Governments and companies should work together to create policies that support fathers taking more time off after the birth of a child. This could include offering financial incentives or creating more flexible work arrangements.

In conclusion, extending paternal leave is an important step towards creating more supportive family environments and promoting gender equality in the workplace. While there may be some difficulties in implementing such policies, the long-term benefits for families and society make it a worthwhile goal.

(Word count: 309)

Essay Analysis (Band 6-7)

This essay demonstrates good qualities that align with a Band 6-7 score:

  1. Task Response: The essay addresses the main parts of the task and presents a clear position with some supporting ideas.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is generally well-organized, with some use of cohesive devices. However, the ideas could be more fully developed.

  3. Lexical Resource: There is a sufficient range of vocabulary, with some attempts at less common words. However, the language use is less sophisticated compared to the Band 8-9 essay.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with generally good control, though there are some errors and limitations in expression.

The importance of gender equality in business is increasingly recognized, and extended paternal leave can play a significant role in promoting this equality.

Key Vocabulary

  1. Paternal leave (noun) – /pəˈtɜːrnl liːv/ – Time off work granted to fathers after the birth or adoption of a child.

  2. Gender equality (noun) – /ˈdʒendər ɪˈkwɒləti/ – The state of equal rights, responsibilities, and opportunities for men and women.

  3. Postpartum depression (noun) – /pəʊstˈpɑːtəm dɪˈpreʃn/ – A type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby.

  4. Cognitive development (noun) – /ˈkɒɡnətɪv dɪˈveləpmənt/ – The growth of a child’s ability to think and understand.

  5. Work-life balance (noun) – /wɜːk laɪf ˈbæləns/ – The division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities.

  6. Discrimination (noun) – /dɪˌskrɪmɪˈneɪʃn/ – Unfair treatment of a person or group based on prejudice.

  7. Incentive (noun) – /ɪnˈsentɪv/ – Something that motivates or encourages someone to do something.

  8. Flexible work arrangements (noun) – /ˈfleksəbl wɜːk əˈreɪndʒmənts/ – Work schedules that allow employees to vary their arrival and departure times.

Conclusion

The topic of extending paternal leave is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS Writing Task 2 exams. To prepare, practice writing essays on related themes such as:

  1. The impact of parental leave policies on workplace equality
  2. Balancing career and family responsibilities in modern society
  3. The role of government in supporting work-life balance

Remember to structure your essay clearly, use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, and support your arguments with relevant examples. Practice writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments section for feedback and discussion. This active engagement will help you improve your IELTS writing skills effectively.

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