Mastering IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on Prioritizing Mental Health in Sports Competitions

In recent years, the topic of mental health in sports has gained significant attention, reflecting a growing awareness of athletes’ well-being beyond physical performance. This trend is increasingly evident in IELTS Writing Task 2 questions, …

Prioritizing mental health in sports competitions

In recent years, the topic of mental health in sports has gained significant attention, reflecting a growing awareness of athletes’ well-being beyond physical performance. This trend is increasingly evident in IELTS Writing Task 2 questions, where candidates are often asked to discuss the balance between mental health and athletic achievement. Based on an analysis of past IELTS exams and current societal trends, we can expect this theme to appear more frequently in future tests. Let’s examine a relevant question that has appeared in recent IELTS exams:

Some people believe that sports competitions should prioritize the mental health of athletes over their performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Analyzing the Question

This question requires candidates to consider the relationship between mental health and athletic performance in competitive sports. Key points to address include:

  1. The importance of mental health in sports
  2. The traditional focus on performance and results
  3. Potential conflicts between mental well-being and competitive pressure
  4. The long-term implications for athletes and sports as a whole

Candidates should clearly state their position and support it with relevant examples and logical reasoning.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

Mental health has become a crucial concern in the world of competitive sports, with many arguing that it should take precedence over performance. While I acknowledge the significance of athletic achievement, I strongly agree that prioritizing mental health is essential for the overall well-being of athletes and the sustainability of sports.

Firstly, prioritizing mental health can lead to better long-term performance. Athletes who are mentally healthy are more likely to maintain consistency in their training and competition, leading to sustained success over time. For instance, tennis player Naomi Osaka’s decision to withdraw from the 2021 French Open to focus on her mental health, although controversial at the time, allowed her to return to the sport with renewed vigor and motivation. This example illustrates how addressing mental health concerns can ultimately benefit an athlete’s career longevity and performance.

Moreover, placing emphasis on mental well-being sets a positive example for young athletes and society at large. When high-profile sports organizations and events prioritize mental health, it sends a powerful message about the importance of psychological welfare. This can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health issues and encourage individuals in all walks of life to seek help when needed. The increased openness about mental health in sports, as seen with athletes like Michael Phelps and Simone Biles, has sparked important conversations and initiatives in schools and workplaces worldwide.

Prioritizing mental health in sports competitionsPrioritizing mental health in sports competitions

However, it is crucial to acknowledge that performance remains an integral part of competitive sports. The challenge lies in finding a balance that supports both mental health and athletic excellence. Sports organizations can achieve this by implementing comprehensive support systems, including access to mental health professionals, education programs, and policies that allow athletes to prioritize their psychological well-being without fear of repercussions.

In conclusion, while the pursuit of athletic excellence is undoubtedly important, I firmly believe that prioritizing mental health in sports competitions is not only beneficial but necessary. By fostering an environment that values psychological well-being, we can create a more sustainable and compassionate sports culture that benefits athletes, spectators, and society as a whole. The future of sports lies in recognizing that true excellence encompasses both mental and physical health.

(309 words)

Explanation of Band 8-9 Score

This essay demonstrates several qualities that contribute to a high band score:

  1. Clear position: The writer clearly agrees with the statement and maintains this position throughout.
  2. Coherent structure: The essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
  3. Relevant examples: The use of real-world examples (Naomi Osaka, Michael Phelps, Simone Biles) adds credibility to the arguments.
  4. Advanced vocabulary: The essay uses sophisticated vocabulary appropriately (e.g., “sustainability,” “vigor,” “stigma”).
  5. Complex sentence structures: The writer employs a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences.
  6. Logical flow: Ideas are well-connected and flow logically from one to the next.
  7. Addressing counterarguments: The essay acknowledges the importance of performance, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the issue.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether sports competitions should prioritize athletes’ mental health over their performance. In my opinion, I partially agree with this statement because both aspects are important for athletes and the sports industry.

On one hand, focusing on mental health is crucial for athletes’ well-being. Many athletes face intense pressure to perform well, which can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. For example, some famous athletes like Naomi Osaka have spoken openly about their mental health struggles. By prioritizing mental health, sports organizations can help prevent burnout and ensure that athletes have long and successful careers.

However, performance is still a key aspect of competitive sports. Fans watch sports to see amazing performances and records being broken. If competitions focus too much on mental health and not enough on performance, it might make the sports less exciting for spectators. Also, many athletes are motivated by the challenge of pushing themselves to achieve their best results.

Balancing mental health and performance in sportsBalancing mental health and performance in sports

I believe the best approach is to find a balance between mental health and performance. Sports organizations should provide mental health support for athletes, such as access to psychologists and counseling services. At the same time, they should maintain high standards of competition to keep sports exciting and challenging. This way, athletes can perform at their best while also taking care of their mental well-being.

In conclusion, while mental health is very important, I think sports competitions should try to balance it with performance rather than prioritizing one over the other completely. This approach can benefit both athletes and the sports industry as a whole.

(285 words)

Explanation of Band 6-7 Score

This essay demonstrates several qualities that place it in the Band 6-7 range:

  1. Clear position: The writer partially agrees with the statement and maintains this stance throughout.
  2. Basic structure: The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
  3. Relevant example: The mention of Naomi Osaka adds some specificity to the argument.
  4. Adequate vocabulary: The essay uses some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., “burnout,” “counseling services”).
  5. Mix of simple and complex sentences: The writer uses both simple and some complex sentence structures.
  6. Logical progression: Ideas generally flow from one to the next in a logical manner.
  7. Attempt at balance: The essay considers both sides of the argument, showing some nuance in thinking.

However, compared to the Band 8-9 essay, this one:

  • Has less sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures
  • Provides fewer specific examples and less detailed explanations
  • Has a slightly less cohesive structure and flow between ideas

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Prioritize (verb) /praɪˈɒrətaɪz/ – to decide which of a group of things are the most important so that you can deal with them first
  2. Well-being (noun) /ˌwel ˈbiːɪŋ/ – the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy
  3. Burnout (noun) /ˈbɜːrnaʊt/ – physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress
  4. Stigma (noun) /ˈstɪɡmə/ – a strong feeling of disapproval that most people in a society have about something
  5. Longevity (noun) /lɒnˈdʒevəti/ – long life or existence
  6. Sustainability (noun) /səˌsteɪnəˈbɪləti/ – the ability to continue or be continued for a long time
  7. Vigor (noun) /ˈvɪɡər/ – physical or mental strength, energy, or enthusiasm
  8. Repercussion (noun) /ˌriːpərˈkʌʃn/ – an unintended consequence of an event or action, especially an unwelcome one

In conclusion, the topic of prioritizing mental health in sports competitions is likely to remain relevant in IELTS Writing Task 2. Candidates should be prepared to discuss the balance between mental well-being and athletic performance, considering the implications for individual athletes, sports organizations, and society at large. To practice, try writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments section for feedback and discussion. Remember to consider both sides of the argument and support your position with relevant examples and logical reasoning.

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