IELTS Writing Task 2: Model Essays and Analysis on Taxing Sugary Drinks (Band 6-9)

The topic of taxing sugary drinks has been a recurring theme in IELTS Writing Task 2 over the past few years. Based on an analysis of recent exam trends, it is likely to continue appearing …

Taxing sugary drinks to prevent obesity

The topic of taxing sugary drinks has been a recurring theme in IELTS Writing Task 2 over the past few years. Based on an analysis of recent exam trends, it is likely to continue appearing in future tests, albeit with slight variations in the question format. This essay will provide model answers for different band scores, along with detailed analyses to help you understand the key elements of a successful IELTS Writing Task 2 response on this topic.

Let’s examine a typical question that has appeared in recent IELTS exams:

Some people think that governments should increase taxes on sugary drinks to tackle obesity. Others believe there are better ways to address this problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Analyzing the Question

This question requires you to:

  1. Discuss the view that increasing taxes on sugary drinks can help tackle obesity
  2. Explore alternative methods to address the obesity problem
  3. Provide your personal opinion on the most effective approach

It’s crucial to address all parts of the question to achieve a high band score. Now, let’s look at model essays for different band scores.

Model Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

In recent years, the alarming rise in obesity rates has prompted governments worldwide to consider various measures to combat this health crisis. One proposed solution is to increase taxes on sugary beverages, while others argue for alternative approaches. This essay will examine both perspectives and provide my personal viewpoint on the matter.

Proponents of taxing sugary drinks argue that this measure can effectively reduce consumption and, consequently, obesity rates. By making these beverages more expensive, people may be discouraged from purchasing them regularly, opting for healthier alternatives instead. Furthermore, the additional revenue generated from these taxes could be allocated to public health initiatives, creating a dual benefit for society. For instance, Mexico’s implementation of a sugar tax in 2014 led to a significant decrease in the consumption of sugary drinks, particularly among lower-income groups.

On the other hand, critics of this approach contend that there are more effective ways to address the obesity epidemic. They argue that education and awareness campaigns can yield better long-term results by empowering individuals to make informed choices about their diet and lifestyle. Additionally, promoting physical activity through improved urban planning and school programs could have a more substantial impact on overall health. Countries like Finland have successfully reduced obesity rates by implementing comprehensive health education programs in schools and communities.

In my opinion, while taxing sugary drinks can be a useful tool in the fight against obesity, it should be part of a broader, multifaceted strategy. I believe that combining fiscal measures with extensive education programs and initiatives to promote physical activity would be the most effective approach. This comprehensive strategy would address the root causes of obesity while also creating immediate incentives for healthier choices.

In conclusion, tackling obesity requires a nuanced and multi-pronged approach. While increasing taxes on sugary drinks can play a role in discouraging consumption, it should be complemented by educational initiatives and policies that promote overall healthy lifestyles. By adopting a holistic strategy, governments can more effectively combat the obesity crisis and improve public health outcomes.

(Word count: 329)

Analysis of Band 8-9 Essay

This essay demonstrates excellent qualities that justify a high band score:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the question, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices (“Furthermore”, “On the other hand”, “Additionally”).

  3. Lexical Resource: The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary accurately and appropriately (“alarming rise”, “combat this health crisis”, “empowering individuals”, “multifaceted strategy”).

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay showcases a variety of complex sentence structures with minimal errors (“By making these beverages more expensive, people may be discouraged from purchasing them regularly, opting for healthier alternatives instead.”).

  5. Development of Ideas: Each point is well-developed with relevant examples and explanations, demonstrating a sophisticated approach to the topic.

Taxing sugary drinks to prevent obesityTaxing sugary drinks to prevent obesity

Model Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

Nowadays, obesity is a big problem in many countries. Some people think the government should increase taxes on sugary drinks to solve this issue, but others believe there are better ways to deal with it. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.

Those who support higher taxes on sugary drinks say it can help reduce obesity. When these drinks become more expensive, people might buy them less often. This could lead to fewer people drinking too much sugar and becoming overweight. Also, the extra money from taxes could be used to pay for health programs.

However, some people think there are better ways to fight obesity. They believe that teaching people about healthy eating and exercise is more important. If people understand why sugary drinks are bad for them, they might choose not to drink them even without higher prices. Also, encouraging people to be more active through sports programs could help reduce obesity.

In my opinion, I think both approaches can be useful. Increasing taxes on sugary drinks might work in the short term, but education is important for long-term changes. I believe the government should use a mix of both methods to tackle obesity effectively.

To conclude, while taxing sugary drinks can help reduce obesity, it’s not the only solution. A combination of higher taxes and better education about healthy living is likely to be more effective in solving this problem.

(Word count: 254)

Analysis of Band 6-7 Essay

This essay demonstrates good qualities that justify a band score of 6-7:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the question, but the ideas could be more fully developed.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear structure, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and repetitive (“However”, “Also”).

  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks the sophistication of higher band scores. There is some attempt at using less common vocabulary (“tackle”, “effectively”).

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with generally good control, though there is room for more varied structures.

  5. Development of Ideas: Ideas are presented clearly, but some points could be elaborated further or supported with specific examples.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Obesity (noun) – /əʊˈbiːsɪti/ – the state of being very fat or overweight
  2. Tackle (verb) – /ˈtækl/ – to make efforts to deal with a problem or difficult task
  3. Incentive (noun) – /ɪnˈsentɪv/ – something that encourages a person to do something
  4. Comprehensive (adjective) – /ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/ – including or dealing with all or nearly all elements or aspects of something
  5. Multifaceted (adjective) – /ˌmʌltɪˈfæsɪtɪd/ – having many different aspects or features
  6. Implement (verb) – /ˈɪmplɪment/ – to put a plan or system into operation
  7. Allocate (verb) – /ˈæləkeɪt/ – to distribute for a particular purpose
  8. Epidemic (noun) – /ˌepɪˈdemɪk/ – a widespread occurrence of an infectious disease in a community at a particular time
  9. Nuanced (adjective) – /ˈnjuːɑːnst/ – characterized by subtle shades of meaning or expression
  10. Holistic (adjective) – /həʊˈlɪstɪk/ – characterized by the belief that the parts of something are intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole

Education campaign promoting healthy lifestyleEducation campaign promoting healthy lifestyle

Conclusion

The topic of taxing sugary drinks to combat obesity is likely to remain relevant in IELTS Writing Task 2. To prepare effectively, practice writing essays on this theme, considering various perspectives and potential solutions. Some related topics you might encounter include:

  1. The role of government in regulating food and drink industries
  2. The effectiveness of education vs. legislation in promoting public health
  3. The impact of lifestyle choices on national healthcare systems

Remember to structure your essay clearly, use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, and fully address all parts of the question. Feel free to practice by writing your own essay on this topic and sharing it in the comments section for feedback and discussion.