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IELTS Writing Task 2: Sample Essays on Mental Health and Employee Performance (Band 6-9)

Chart showing correlation between mental health and workplace productivity

Chart showing correlation between mental health and workplace productivity

Mental health and its impact on employee performance is a crucial topic in today’s workplace environment. This theme has appeared in IELTS Writing Task 2 questions with increasing frequency over the past few years, reflecting its growing importance in society. Based on recent trends, we can expect this topic to continue featuring prominently in future IELTS exams. Let’s examine a relevant question that has appeared in past IELTS tests:

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the mental health of their employees. Others argue that companies should take steps to ensure good mental health in the workplace. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Analysis of the Question

This question requires candidates to:

  1. Discuss the view that employers should not be concerned about employees’ mental health
  2. Discuss the opposing view that companies should take steps to ensure good mental health
  3. Provide their own opinion on the issue

It’s important to address all parts of the question and provide a balanced discussion before stating your personal stance.

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8-9)

Mental health in the workplace has become a topic of increasing importance in recent years. While some argue that employers should not concern themselves with their employees’ mental well-being, others believe that companies have a responsibility to promote good mental health. In my opinion, employers should indeed take an active role in supporting their employees’ mental health, as it benefits both the individuals and the organization as a whole.

Those who believe employers should not be involved in their employees’ mental health often argue that it is a personal matter. They contend that mental health issues are private and should be dealt with outside of work. Additionally, they may fear that focusing on mental health could lead to invasions of privacy or discrimination. However, this view fails to acknowledge the significant impact that work-related stress and conditions can have on an individual’s mental state.

On the other hand, proponents of workplace mental health initiatives argue that companies have a moral and practical obligation to support their employees’ well-being. They point out that work is a major part of most people’s lives and can significantly affect mental health. By implementing supportive policies and creating a positive work environment, companies can help prevent mental health issues and improve overall employee satisfaction and productivity. This approach recognizes that mental health is not solely a personal issue but one that is influenced by various factors, including the workplace.

In my view, employers should absolutely be concerned about their employees’ mental health. The benefits of prioritizing mental well-being in the workplace are numerous and far-reaching. Firstly, it leads to increased productivity and creativity, as employees who feel supported are more likely to be engaged and motivated. Secondly, it reduces absenteeism and turnover rates, saving companies significant costs in the long run. Finally, fostering a culture of mental health awareness and support contributes to a more positive and inclusive work environment, which can enhance a company’s reputation and attract top talent.

In conclusion, while some may argue that mental health should remain outside the purview of employers, I firmly believe that companies have both an ethical responsibility and a vested interest in promoting good mental health in the workplace. By taking steps to support their employees’ mental well-being, organizations can create a win-win situation that benefits both individuals and the company as a whole.

(Word count: 378)

Chart showing correlation between mental health and workplace productivity

Explanation of Band 8-9 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a high-scoring IELTS Writing Task 2 response:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and effective use of cohesive devices (e.g., “On the other hand,” “Firstly,” “Secondly”).

  3. Lexical Resource: The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary accurately and appropriately (e.g., “invasions of privacy,” “proponents,” “moral and practical obligation”).

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately and flexibly (e.g., “While some argue…,” “By implementing supportive policies…”).

  5. Development of Ideas: Each main point is well-developed with relevant examples and explanations.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6-7)

Mental health at work is a big topic these days. Some people think bosses shouldn’t worry about their workers’ mental health, but others say companies should help. I think it’s important for companies to care about mental health.

People who say employers shouldn’t care about mental health think it’s private. They worry that it might cause problems like invading privacy. Also, they might think it’s not the company’s job to help with personal issues. But this view doesn’t see how work can affect mental health.

On the other side, people who want companies to help with mental health say it’s good for everyone. They think work is a big part of life and can make people feel bad or good. If companies have good policies and a nice work environment, it can stop mental health problems and make workers happier and better at their jobs.

I agree that companies should care about mental health. When workers feel good, they work better and are more creative. Also, they don’t miss work as much, which saves the company money. It makes the workplace nicer, which is good for the company’s reputation.

In conclusion, even though some people think mental health is not for work, I believe companies should help. It’s good for the workers and the company, so everyone wins.

(Word count: 246)

Explanation of Band 6-7 Score

This essay demonstrates the characteristics of a mid-range IELTS Writing Task 2 response:

  1. Task Achievement: The essay addresses all parts of the task, but the discussion of each view is less developed compared to the Band 8-9 essay.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear structure, but the use of cohesive devices is less sophisticated (e.g., frequent use of “Also”).

  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is adequate but less varied and precise compared to the higher band essay (e.g., “big topic,” “nice work environment”).

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but with less variety and flexibility than the Band 8-9 essay.

  5. Development of Ideas: Main points are present, but the supporting ideas and examples are less detailed and nuanced.

Infographic of mental health initiatives in the workplace

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Mental well-being (noun): The state of mental health and emotional balance.
    Pronunciation: /ˈmen.təl wel-ˈbiː.ɪŋ/

  2. Work-related stress (noun phrase): Stress caused by factors in the workplace.
    Pronunciation: /wɜːk rɪˈleɪtɪd stres/

  3. Productivity (noun): The efficiency of production or output.
    Pronunciation: /ˌprɒd.ʌkˈtɪv.ə.ti/

  4. Absenteeism (noun): The practice of regularly staying away from work without good reason.
    Pronunciation: /ˌæb.sənˈtiː.ɪ.zəm/

  5. Turnover rate (noun phrase): The rate at which employees leave a company and are replaced.
    Pronunciation: /ˈtɜː.nəʊ.və reɪt/

  6. Initiative (noun): A new plan or process to achieve something or solve a problem.
    Pronunciation: /ɪˈnɪʃ.ə.tɪv/

  7. Proponent (noun): A person who advocates for or supports something.
    Pronunciation: /prəˈpəʊ.nənt/

  8. Inclusivity (noun): The practice or policy of including people who might otherwise be excluded or marginalized.
    Pronunciation: /ˌɪn.kluːˈsɪv.ə.ti/

  9. Discrimination (noun): The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people.
    Pronunciation: /dɪˌskrɪm.ɪˈneɪ.ʃən/

  10. Work-life balance (noun phrase): The division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities.
    Pronunciation: /wɜːk laɪf ˈbæl.əns/

Conclusion

The topic of mental health in the workplace is likely to remain relevant in future IELTS Writing Task 2 questions. To prepare, practice writing essays on related themes such as:

Remember to structure your essays clearly, use a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, and fully address all parts of the question. Practice writing your own essays on this topic and share them in the comments section below for feedback and discussion. This active engagement will help you improve your writing skills and prepare effectively for the IELTS exam.

The impact of digital currencies on global economies is another interesting topic that often appears in IELTS Writing Task 2. As you practice writing about mental health and employee performance, consider exploring this related theme to broaden your understanding of current global issues.

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