IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Essays: The Role of Education in Fostering Social Cohesion (Band 6-9)

The topic of education’s role in fostering social cohesion is a recurring theme in IELTS Writing Task 2. It has appeared in various forms over the years, reflecting its significance in contemporary society. Based on …

Education fostering social cohesion

The topic of education’s role in fostering social cohesion is a recurring theme in IELTS Writing Task 2. It has appeared in various forms over the years, reflecting its significance in contemporary society. Based on my analysis of past IELTS exams and current global trends, I predict this topic will continue to be relevant in future tests. Let’s explore a specific question related to this theme and examine sample essays across different band scores.

Education fostering social cohesionEducation fostering social cohesion

Analyzing the Question

Let’s consider the following IELTS Writing Task 2 question:

Some people believe that the education system is the most important factor in creating a cohesive society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

This question requires you to:

  1. Understand the concept of a “cohesive society”
  2. Consider the role of education in creating social cohesion
  3. Evaluate whether education is the “most important factor” in this process
  4. Present your opinion with supporting arguments and examples

Sample Essays

Band 8-9 Essay

In today’s increasingly diverse and interconnected world, the creation of a cohesive society is a paramount concern for many nations. While numerous factors contribute to social cohesion, I strongly agree that the education system plays the most crucial role in fostering unity and mutual understanding among different segments of society.

Education serves as a powerful equalizer, providing individuals from various backgrounds with common knowledge, skills, and values. This shared foundation helps bridge socioeconomic, cultural, and ethnic divides, promoting a sense of collective identity. For instance, in Singapore, the education system has been instrumental in creating a harmonious multicultural society by emphasizing shared values and promoting interaction between different ethnic groups from an early age.

Moreover, schools act as microcosms of society, where students learn to interact with peers from diverse backgrounds. This exposure cultivates empathy, tolerance, and respect for differences – essential qualities for a cohesive society. In countries like Canada, which actively promotes multiculturalism, the education system plays a vital role in integrating immigrants and fostering a sense of national unity while respecting cultural diversity.

Critical thinking and civic education, integral parts of a well-rounded curriculum, equip students with the tools to analyze social issues, participate in democratic processes, and contribute positively to their communities. This engagement fosters a sense of social responsibility and collective purpose, further strengthening societal bonds.

While other factors such as economic policies, media, and political leadership undoubtedly influence social cohesion, education’s impact is more profound and long-lasting. It shapes the mindsets and behaviors of future generations, creating a ripple effect that permeates all aspects of society.

In conclusion, although multiple elements contribute to creating a cohesive society, the education system stands out as the most significant factor. Its ability to impart shared values, foster intercultural understanding, and develop engaged citizens makes it an unparalleled force in building a unified and harmonious society. Therefore, policymakers should prioritize education reforms that enhance its role in promoting social cohesion.

(Word count: 309)

Band 6-7 Essay

In today’s world, having a cohesive society is very important for any country. Many people think that the education system is the most important thing in creating this kind of society. I mostly agree with this idea, but I also think other factors play a role.

Education is very important for social cohesion for several reasons. First, schools bring together children from different backgrounds. This helps them learn about each other and become more tolerant. For example, in my country, students from various ethnic groups study together, which helps reduce prejudice. Second, education gives people common knowledge and values, which can create a shared national identity. This is especially important in countries with diverse populations.

Schools also teach important skills for living in society. Students learn how to communicate, work in teams, and solve problems together. These skills are necessary for creating a cohesive society where people can work together effectively. Additionally, education can help reduce inequality by giving everyone a chance to succeed, which is important for social harmony.

However, I don’t think education is the only factor in creating a cohesive society. Other things like the economy and government policies are also important. If there’s a big gap between rich and poor, or if some groups feel discriminated against, it’s hard to have a cohesive society even with good education. The media and cultural activities also play a role in bringing people together.

In conclusion, while I believe the education system is very important for creating a cohesive society, it’s not the only factor. It works best when combined with other positive social and economic policies. Governments should focus on improving education but also pay attention to other areas that affect social cohesion.

(Word count: 280)

Band 5-6 Essay

I think education is very important for making a good society where people get along. But I’m not sure if it’s the most important thing. There are other things that matter too.

Schools are good for society because they teach kids to be friends with different people. In my school, we have students from many places, and we learn to work together. This is good for society because when we grow up, we know how to be nice to everyone.

Education also teaches us important things like reading, math, and history. When everyone knows these things, it’s easier to talk and understand each other. This helps make society better because people can communicate well.

But there are other important things for a good society too. Like having good jobs and enough money. If people don’t have jobs, they might be unhappy even if they went to school. Also, the government needs to make good rules to help everyone.

I think education is very important, but it’s not the only thing that makes a good society. We need good schools, but we also need other things like jobs and good rules. If we have all these things, then we can have a society where everyone gets along well.

(Word count: 193)

Explanation of Band Scores

Band 8-9 Essay Analysis

This essay demonstrates excellent writing skills and a sophisticated approach to the topic, warranting a high band score:

  1. Task Response: The essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position with well-developed arguments.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Cohesive devices are used effectively and appropriately.
  3. Lexical Resource: A wide range of vocabulary is used with full flexibility and precision. Uncommon lexical items are used naturally.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A wide range of structures is used accurately and appropriately, with only rare minor errors.

Band 6-7 Essay Analysis

This essay shows good writing skills but lacks some of the sophistication of the higher band essay:

  1. Task Response: The essay addresses all parts of the task, but some aspects are covered more thoroughly than others.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: There is a clear overall progression, but some paragraphs are better linked than others.
  3. Lexical Resource: A sufficient range of vocabulary is used, with some attempts at less common words, though not always successfully.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is used, with generally good control, though errors occur when attempting more complex structures.

Band 5-6 Essay Analysis

This essay demonstrates basic writing skills but has significant limitations:

  1. Task Response: The essay addresses the task in a general way but lacks depth and detail.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: There is a basic structure, but ideas are not always clearly linked.
  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some errors in word choice and usage.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Sentences are mostly simple, with limited use of complex structures. Errors are frequent but do not greatly impede communication.

Key Vocabulary to Remember

  1. Social cohesion (noun) /ˈsəʊʃəl kəʊˈhiːʒən/ – The willingness of members of a society to cooperate with each other in order to survive and prosper.

  2. Multicultural (adjective) /ˌmʌltɪˈkʌltʃərəl/ – Relating to or containing several cultural or ethnic groups within a society.

  3. Integrate (verb) /ˈɪntɪɡreɪt/ – To bring people or groups with particular characteristics or needs into equal participation in or membership of a social group or institution.

  4. Empathy (noun) /ˈempəθi/ – The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

  5. Civic education (noun) /ˈsɪvɪk ˌedʒʊˈkeɪʃən/ – Education in the rights and duties of citizenship.

  6. Prejudice (noun) /ˈpredʒʊdɪs/ – Preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

  7. Tolerance (noun) /ˈtɒlərəns/ – The ability or willingness to tolerate the existence of opinions or behaviour that one dislikes or disagrees with.

  8. Inequality (noun) /ˌɪnɪˈkwɒləti/ – Difference in size, degree, circumstances, etc.; lack of equality.

  9. Harmonious (adjective) /hɑːˈməʊniəs/ – Free from disagreement or dissent; socially harmonious.

  10. Diverse (adjective) /daɪˈvɜːs/ – Showing a great deal of variety; very different.

Conclusion

The role of education in fostering social cohesion is a crucial topic in IELTS Writing Task 2. Understanding how to approach this subject and structure your essay effectively can significantly improve your performance. Remember to practice writing essays on similar topics, such as:

  • The impact of multicultural education on social integration
  • The role of education in reducing social inequalities
  • How education can promote national unity in diverse societies

I encourage you to try writing your own essay on this topic and share it in the comments section below. This practice will help you refine your skills and prepare for the actual IELTS test. Good luck with your IELTS preparation!