IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Essays: Financial Independence and Women’s Empowerment (Band 6.5-8.5)

The topic of women’s financial independence and empowerment has been increasingly prevalent in IELTS Writing Task 2, appearing in various forms across recent test versions. Based on analysis of past papers and current trends, this theme is likely to continue featuring prominently, particularly in essays discussing gender equality, social progress, and economic development.

Let’s examine one commonly encountered question type:

Some people believe that financial independence is crucial for women’s empowerment, while others think there are more important factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Analysis of the Question

  • Topic: Women’s financial independence and empowerment
  • Task: Discuss both views + give opinion
  • Key elements to address:
    • Role of financial independence in women’s empowerment
    • Other potential factors contributing to women’s empowerment
    • Personal stance with supporting arguments

Professional women in modern workplace discussing financial mattersProfessional women in modern workplace discussing financial matters

Sample Essay 1 (Band 8.5)

Financial autonomy’s role in women’s empowerment has become a subject of intense debate in modern society. While some consider it the cornerstone of female empowerment, others argue that additional elements play equally vital roles. In my view, while financial independence is indeed crucial, it works most effectively in conjunction with other empowerment factors.

Those who prioritize financial independence argue that economic self-sufficiency provides women with the foundation for genuine autonomy. When women control their own finances, they can make independent life choices, from education to career paths, without requiring permission or support from others. For instance, financially independent women can leave toxic relationships, pursue higher education, or start businesses, options that might be limited without economic means.

However, proponents of a broader perspective rightly point out that other factors are equally essential for comprehensive women’s empowerment. Education, legal rights, and social support systems play pivotal roles. A woman might be financially stable yet still face discrimination in professional settings or struggle against deeply ingrained societal prejudices. Countries like Saudi Arabia demonstrate that even wealthy women can face significant social restrictions despite their financial means.

In my assessment, financial independence serves as a crucial but not exclusive catalyst for women’s empowerment. The most effective approach combines economic self-sufficiency with educational opportunities, legal protections, and social reform. This holistic strategy has proven successful in countries like Sweden and New Zealand, where women’s empowerment encompasses both financial and social dimensions.

Sample Essay 2 (Band 6.5)

These days, people have different opinions about what makes women empowered. Some think money is the most important thing, while others believe other things matter more. I think both financial independence and other factors are important for women’s empowerment.

First, having their own money helps women be independent. When women earn money, they can buy what they want and don’t need to ask others for help. For example, working women can pay for their education or start a business if they want to. This makes them feel more confident and powerful.

However, some people think other things are more important than money. They say education and social support are very important too. Even rich women can have problems if society doesn’t respect them or if they don’t have equal rights. In some countries, women with money still can’t do many things because of unfair rules.

I think both views are correct. Money is very important because it gives women freedom to make choices. But women also need education, equal rights, and respect from society to be truly empowered. We can see this in many developed countries where women are successful because they have both money and social support.

Band Score Analysis

Band 8.5 Essay

  • Task Response: Fully addresses all parts of the task with well-developed ideas
  • Coherence and Cohesion: Logical organization with clear progression
  • Lexical Resource: Wide range of vocabulary used naturally
  • Grammatical Range: Complex structures used accurately

Band 6.5 Essay

  • Task Response: Addresses main points but with less depth
  • Coherence and Cohesion: Basic organization with some progression
  • Lexical Resource: Adequate but simpler vocabulary
  • Grammatical Range: Mix of simple and complex structures with some errors

Key Vocabulary

  1. autonomy (n) /ɔːˈtɒnəmi/ – freedom to act independently
  2. self-sufficiency (n) /ˌselfləˈfɪʃənsi/ – ability to provide for oneself
  3. pivotal (adj) /ˈpɪvətl/ – crucial, essential
  4. ingrained (adj) /ɪnˈɡreɪnd/ – deeply established
  5. catalyst (n) /ˈkætəlɪst/ – something that causes activity between others
  6. holistic (adj) /həˈlɪstɪk/ – considering the whole rather than parts
  7. empowerment (n) /ɪmˈpaʊəmənt/ – authority or power given to someone

For practice, try writing your own essay addressing this topic and share it in the comments section for feedback. Consider also exploring related topics such as workplace equality, educational opportunities for women, or the gender pay gap.